1
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:23,150
Just see those sleigh bells jingling
Ring -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling

2
00:00:23,150 --> 00:00:25,330
-ling -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling -a
-ling -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling -a

3
00:00:25,330 --> 00:00:26,870
-ling -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling -a
-ling -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling -a

4
00:00:26,870 --> 00:00:27,770
-ling -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling -a
-ling -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling -a

5
00:00:27,770 --> 00:00:34,350
-ling -a -ling -a -ling -a -ling -a
-ling -a -ling -a -ling -a

6
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:40,272
-ling.

7
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:13,360
This is it, Joe.

8
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,560
This is it.

9
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,380
This is going to be the perfect
Christmas.

10
00:01:17,740 --> 00:01:18,800
Just you and me.

11
00:01:19,620 --> 00:01:21,360
Nobody else to smile at.

12
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,260
Like they did last year.

13
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,040
Not naming names.

14
00:01:25,340 --> 00:01:26,580
Where was your mum and your sister?

15
00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,400
I thought you weren't naming names.

16
00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:29,720
That's not the names.

17
00:01:30,260 --> 00:01:31,840
Come to the pub.

18
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:37,000
You like pubs. Don't you mean
traditional, oldie, worldie Christmas

19
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,460
lovely, friendly villagers?

20
00:01:39,220 --> 00:01:40,220
I love it!

21
00:02:02,110 --> 00:02:03,510
See?

22
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:13,030
Lovely, friendly villages.

23
00:02:14,570 --> 00:02:16,350
It's more like Christmas village in the
damned.

24
00:02:17,890 --> 00:02:19,090
Something's going on here.

25
00:02:19,690 --> 00:02:26,510
Nothing's going on. Just ordinary
everyday folk silently stirring at us

26
00:02:26,510 --> 00:02:27,670
cold contempt.

27
00:02:36,610 --> 00:02:39,790
Hello there.

28
00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:42,590
Sorry about the others. We just don't
get many visitors around here.

29
00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:44,280
Gavin! That's enough.

30
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,020
Hello, are you the Bremer Party?

31
00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,980
Oh, yes, yes, that's us.

32
00:02:51,220 --> 00:02:54,620
Are you the owner of the luxury cottage
in the small but friendly village that

33
00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:55,980
already feels misadvertised?

34
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,640
I am. Name's David.

35
00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:02,020
Don't mind them. These people just need
a little lesson in manners.

36
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,560
Come on, let's get you inserted into the
premises.

37
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:06,920
Oh?

38
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:26,770
Bye for now.

39
00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:28,690
That was a good start.

40
00:03:29,750 --> 00:03:34,430
I think we can only grow to love each
other from here on in.

41
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,650
And off we go.

42
00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:53,170
Here we go, out to the

43
00:03:53,170 --> 00:03:54,170
cottage.

44
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,100
And this is the kitchen.

45
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,540
Oh, yay!

46
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:04,880
Oh, I can create in here.

47
00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:09,020
You certainly got all the bits and bobs.

48
00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:13,220
I've got more than that, David. I've got
backup bits and a whole spare set of

49
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:14,220
bobs.

50
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,839
This is the most important meal of the
year.

51
00:04:17,079 --> 00:04:18,959
In fact, I'm going to start the gravy
now.

52
00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:20,480
Oh, the bloody gravy.

53
00:04:21,019 --> 00:04:24,600
Gemma, back in our house, you know,
Christmas Day was all about the dinner.

54
00:04:25,150 --> 00:04:29,230
My mum would do the turkey, Auntie
Siobhan would do the gravy, and my nan

55
00:04:29,230 --> 00:04:30,230
care of all the veg.

56
00:04:31,110 --> 00:04:33,190
I'm sorry, and did you want to recreate
that?

57
00:04:34,130 --> 00:04:36,990
No. I want to do it properly for once.

58
00:04:37,690 --> 00:04:40,930
My mum somehow did the driest turkey in
existence.

59
00:04:41,530 --> 00:04:42,530
It was inedible.

60
00:04:42,910 --> 00:04:46,290
After dinner, we'd all have to rehydrate
like marathon runners.

61
00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:50,210
Oh, David.

62
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,590
The last guest seemed to have left the
food in the fridge.

63
00:04:53,910 --> 00:04:54,910
Oh, no, that's fine.

64
00:04:55,169 --> 00:04:56,009
It's yours?

65
00:04:56,010 --> 00:04:57,150
Well, yes, of course. I live here.

66
00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,810
Well, not here, here.

67
00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:02,970
I've got a little granny flat out the
back, but there's no room for a kitchen,

68
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:06,170
sadly, so I'll be popping in and out.
Popping in and out?

69
00:05:07,170 --> 00:05:10,710
It's just that the advert did state that
we would be the sole occupants, so...

70
00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,790
And you are. You are the only family I'm
allowing to stay.

71
00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:17,070
If there was anyone else here, it would
be weird, wouldn't it?

72
00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:19,630
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

73
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,370
Anyone else would create a very, very
weird atmosphere.

74
00:05:23,150 --> 00:05:26,590
And I have to say, I'm looking forward
to what promises to be the best of all

75
00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:30,590
Christmas dinners. Anyway, I'll let you
settle in, then I'll pop back and pump

76
00:05:30,590 --> 00:05:33,990
up your pillows later and help you write
your TripAdvisor review.

77
00:05:35,330 --> 00:05:42,270
You just invited himself to Christmas
dinner.

78
00:05:42,590 --> 00:05:46,170
I mean, he's the only friendly person
we've met so far, but boy, has he swung

79
00:05:46,170 --> 00:05:46,929
the other way.

80
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:47,930
So?

81
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:50,310
Where did you put the turkey?

82
00:05:50,690 --> 00:05:51,810
Me? I didn't put it anywhere.

83
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:53,640
You did?

84
00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:57,060
I asked you to pat the turkey, remember?

85
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:02,100
Oh.

86
00:06:02,460 --> 00:06:03,700
Oh, sugar.

87
00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:10,020
I took the turkey out of the fridge and
then I threw a chocolate mousse in the

88
00:06:10,020 --> 00:06:12,320
fridge and then I ate the chocolate
mousse and then you were shouting me to

89
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:13,420
hurry up and leave and then that's...

90
00:06:24,970 --> 00:06:28,130
See, you didn't pack it.

91
00:06:29,250 --> 00:06:33,170
We don't have a turkey for Christmas.

92
00:06:33,870 --> 00:06:35,430
Oh, but we've got each other.

93
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:36,830
We've got nothing!

94
00:06:38,290 --> 00:06:39,290
Nothing!

95
00:06:39,570 --> 00:06:42,690
We are going to be celebrating
Nothingmas.

96
00:06:43,010 --> 00:06:45,990
Well, maybe there's a shop in the
village. Maybe there is a shop in the

97
00:06:46,670 --> 00:06:47,670
Well, I hope so.

98
00:06:48,210 --> 00:06:50,990
Because tomorrow is Nothingmas Eve's
Eve.

99
00:06:51,660 --> 00:06:55,960
That's going to be a pretty tense time
round here until anti -boxing day.

100
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,580
What is it with you and Moose?

101
00:07:22,350 --> 00:07:23,750
It's you. Hiya.

102
00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:25,610
Can I buy a turkey, please?

103
00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:28,570
We haven't got any.

104
00:07:29,650 --> 00:07:30,650
What are those?

105
00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:34,110
They're reserved for people who are part
of the community.

106
00:07:35,690 --> 00:07:36,990
Come on, it's Christmas.

107
00:07:37,790 --> 00:07:40,370
You wouldn't condemn us to Christmas
without a turkey.

108
00:07:41,190 --> 00:07:42,730
What would baby Jesus say?

109
00:07:43,030 --> 00:07:44,750
They didn't have turkeys in Nazareth.

110
00:07:45,030 --> 00:07:47,170
And he was a baby, so he wouldn't have
said anything.

111
00:07:48,730 --> 00:07:52,200
Please. Our turkeys are for members of
this community only.

112
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:55,500
Now, if you don't mind, we're closing
early today.

113
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:57,720
It's the start of the Santathlon.

114
00:07:58,980 --> 00:07:59,980
Santathlon.

115
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:04,960
Community event, is it?

116
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:09,620
It is. So if I enter, I'll be a member
of the community, won't I?

117
00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:12,580
I suppose.

118
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,480
But you'd have to win the contest to be
accepted.

119
00:08:15,940 --> 00:08:17,200
Then you can call me a turkey.

120
00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:20,220
I suppose I would.

121
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:21,660
Right, well, I'm in.

122
00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:25,760
And as you can see, I've already done
the structural work.

123
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:27,580
Was that a joke?

124
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:30,020
It was.

125
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:31,860
Would it break your heart if I didn't
laugh?

126
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,480
It would have stopped if you had.

127
00:08:35,179 --> 00:08:36,179
Right, come on, then.

128
00:08:36,340 --> 00:08:38,580
Tell us everything that's involved with
this Santa thing.

129
00:08:41,360 --> 00:08:42,799
So, what do you think?

130
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:47,180
I know it's been a rough job, but I
reckon it's all right.

131
00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:50,700
And you would tell me if I looked
stupid, wouldn't you, Jan?

132
00:08:51,180 --> 00:08:55,920
I think, given the time frame, you look
as unstupid as could be reasonably

133
00:08:55,920 --> 00:09:02,700
expected. You know, after I lost my
wife, I wondered why I kept her clothes,

134
00:09:02,700 --> 00:09:09,500
now I see them all cut up and fashioned
into a Father Christmas outfit, it

135
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,660
all becomes clear.

136
00:09:12,940 --> 00:09:16,380
I'm sure she's looking down, enjoying
me.

137
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:19,180
We're in the cut -up remnant of her
life.

138
00:09:20,940 --> 00:09:24,940
I remember the Santa contest when I was
a younger man.

139
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,740
It's so silly how seriously they all
take it.

140
00:09:31,980 --> 00:09:32,980
Hello?

141
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,660
Oh, good. I'll be right there.

142
00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:36,960
That'll be your washing.

143
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,660
Our washing? Yes. Had a bit of a whiff.

144
00:09:40,980 --> 00:09:44,140
Wasn't smelling the best, so I sent it
to the laundrette. But it's ready now.

145
00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:47,110
Just wait till you get your nose into
it.

146
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:52,210
He's been doing it in our clothes.

147
00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:54,250
Are we comfortable with that?

148
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,710
I... I look stupid, don't I?

149
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:00,949
And you?

150
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:01,950
Well,

151
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:04,010
I didn't want to say anything. It's
because you haven't got a beard.

152
00:10:04,630 --> 00:10:07,570
Oh, yeah, that's it. Not everything
else.

153
00:10:08,110 --> 00:10:10,490
Hey, maybe I can force a beard out.

154
00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:12,230
Oh, no need.

155
00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:15,830
We could use my wig.

156
00:10:16,430 --> 00:10:17,510
What are you doing with her?

157
00:10:17,810 --> 00:10:20,950
Oh, I got a sexy elf outfit to surprise
you with on Christmas morning.

158
00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:24,530
There you go.

159
00:10:26,270 --> 00:10:28,310
Do you need to pull it off?

160
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:30,290
You're going to blow them away.

161
00:10:31,310 --> 00:10:32,350
Ho, ho, ho.

162
00:10:33,850 --> 00:10:35,630
Ho, ho, ho.

163
00:10:36,590 --> 00:10:37,850
Ho, ho, ho.

164
00:10:39,090 --> 00:10:40,090
Ho.

165
00:10:40,610 --> 00:10:42,910
I'm here for the Santa thing.

166
00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,250
If it's not.

167
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:45,900
Immediately. Obvious.

168
00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:47,580
This is your entry?

169
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:53,120
I've been told given the timeline that
there's a very festive unstupidity about

170
00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,800
me. Let him enter, Annette. It's my year
anyway.

171
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,640
Put on three stone for this. You might
as well give me the trophy now.

172
00:10:59,560 --> 00:11:00,840
Done this before, have we?

173
00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,700
Done this before, he asks.

174
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:06,820
I've got seven runners -up, Rosette,
that tell you I have. And they spell out

175
00:11:06,820 --> 00:11:07,820
nothing but winner.

176
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,340
Do they not spell out run at all?

177
00:11:11,080 --> 00:11:13,940
Robert, there's a reason we all call you
bridesmaid.

178
00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,280
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

179
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:21,080
Well, actually, joke's on you, because I
know what you call me behind my back.

180
00:11:21,340 --> 00:11:24,060
I choose not to get riled up, making me
the victor.

181
00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:25,760
Oh, very much so.

182
00:11:26,680 --> 00:11:29,800
But that's not the only thing that's
been going on behind Bridesmaid's back,

183
00:11:29,800 --> 00:11:34,220
it? John, don't. He might not know about
it. Oh, I know, Bella.

184
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,320
I know you've been having an affair with
my Sandra the whole time.

185
00:11:37,560 --> 00:11:40,220
It's only my fear of being left alone
that kept me from speaking up.

186
00:11:40,820 --> 00:11:44,130
So once again... You're making yourself
look pretty foolish, buddy.

187
00:11:45,230 --> 00:11:47,970
You're right, Bridesmaid. I look really
stupid.

188
00:11:48,510 --> 00:11:49,630
Nothing is as gold.

189
00:11:50,630 --> 00:11:52,070
And the joke's on Sandra as well.

190
00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:55,010
Because while you were having sex with
her, you were also having sex with a

191
00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:56,390
couple of the other wives in the
village, weren't you?

192
00:11:57,130 --> 00:11:59,670
So I married someone who turns out
wasn't very special at all.

193
00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:01,050
Another win for me.

194
00:12:02,170 --> 00:12:06,730
Now, now, Bridesmaid. You just made my
list. What list might that be? The,

195
00:12:06,890 --> 00:12:08,730
The naughty or the nice ones?

196
00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:12,610
Shut up, Jim. Yeah, shut up, Jim. All
right, easy there, big dogs. Let's not

197
00:12:12,610 --> 00:12:15,370
too feisty. I don't want to have to
start cracking heads together.

198
00:12:16,070 --> 00:12:20,510
Oh, laugh it off. But as your local
policeman, I think it's only fair to

199
00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:24,110
you I have been on the official police
head -cracking course.

200
00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:25,650
Yes, come on, boys.

201
00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,830
You're ruining the competition.

202
00:12:28,670 --> 00:12:30,570
Maybe I might win this year.

203
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:32,370
Just once.

204
00:12:33,190 --> 00:12:34,370
Ho, ho, ho!

205
00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:42,250
i said sadness and anger surely not on
this the celebration of winter solstice

206
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:49,150
this year i am centaur klausenhoff a
traditional authentic

207
00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:55,210
scandinavian version of what you may
know as santa claus oh

208
00:12:55,210 --> 00:13:02,210
and what might your name

209
00:13:02,210 --> 00:13:08,160
be good man Centon Cloutenhoff is often
accompanied by Necht Rupert, which

210
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,880
translates as Servant Rupert, the Empty
-Headed Helper.

211
00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:14,760
The festive fool for us all to enjoy.

212
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:22,840
Right. Attention, everyone. Let us begin
with the first challenge.

213
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:30,420
Oh, and a special thank you to Bella and
Duncan for making the pub look so

214
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:31,420
lovely.

215
00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:38,710
Shut up, you lot. I didn't do much at
all. Duncan.

216
00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:42,170
Duncan decorated.

217
00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:46,110
And now for the gift giving.

218
00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:52,930
You will all be judged by your kindness
when giving your gift

219
00:13:52,930 --> 00:13:58,770
to... the child.

220
00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:04,400
And your ho -ho -ho, which we expect to
be fully chested and brimming with

221
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:05,400
festive cheer.

222
00:14:08,460 --> 00:14:10,040
Excuse me.

223
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:15,340
Wouldn't it be a bit more Christmassy if
we used an actual child?

224
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:24,560
There are no children in the village.

225
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,840
So this is how we do it.

226
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:31,360
Right, I'll start then, shall I? Take a
laugh at the other chanting.

227
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,220
Ho, ho, ho!

228
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:37,120
Ho, ho, ho!

229
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:38,900
Ho, ho!

230
00:14:41,820 --> 00:14:42,820
Ah,

231
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:48,200
ah, ah, beard removal.

232
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,259
Point off.

233
00:14:49,260 --> 00:14:52,940
Medical emergency. Point reinstated. We
go over this every year, Robert.

234
00:14:53,540 --> 00:14:55,180
Right, I'm deducting another point.

235
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:58,750
for arguing with the competition
officials. Vote to appeal the ruling.

236
00:15:04,890 --> 00:15:06,470
Right. You next.

237
00:15:07,430 --> 00:15:08,430
The outsider.

238
00:15:09,670 --> 00:15:10,670
Outsider.

239
00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:12,170
Outsider.

240
00:15:12,770 --> 00:15:13,770
Outsider.

241
00:15:14,150 --> 00:15:15,150
Outsider.

242
00:15:15,590 --> 00:15:16,630
Outsider. Outsider.

243
00:15:16,970 --> 00:15:17,990
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.

244
00:15:18,230 --> 00:15:19,330
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.

245
00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:19,330
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.

246
00:15:19,330 --> 00:15:19,569
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.

247
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:20,169
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.

248
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:20,949
Outsider. Outsider.

249
00:15:20,950 --> 00:15:22,310
Outsider. Outsider. Outsider. Outsider.
Outsider. Outsider.

250
00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:25,780
Ho, ho, ho!

251
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,960
I wonder what could be in this box,
fibreglass boy.

252
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:34,180
Oh, hang on. I'm not making it in there.

253
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:36,480
Whoa!

254
00:15:40,460 --> 00:15:45,480
It'll be that kind of Christmas, I
think.

255
00:16:00,620 --> 00:16:03,840
You just stay there. They might want to
go over you, see if you've got any of

256
00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,840
Gavin's head on you.

257
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,740
Martin Buford, I'm the law around these
parts.

258
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,260
Right.

259
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,680
You don't seem bothered about a
decapitated head in the village.

260
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:18,040
We're a rural community. We have all
manner of accidents around here.

261
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,940
Farm machinery is notoriously brutal.

262
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:25,940
Yeah? It's just difficult to imagine a
hay bale cutting off a man's head.

263
00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:27,680
Gift wrapping it.

264
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,360
Then leaving it on the present pile in
the local pub.

265
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,760
You never know, you know.

266
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,580
Advances in modern technology, AI and
all that.

267
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,680
We're a tight little community. We never
have any trouble here.

268
00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:42,600
Unless you want a turkey.

269
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,300
Oh, you've met my Annette then.

270
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:54,080
She's very set in a way. God knows being
married to her is a trial unto itself.

271
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,660
But she loves this village more than me,
I think.

272
00:16:57,180 --> 00:16:58,380
They said you killed him yet?

273
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:00,740
Or have I got time to make my escape?

274
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:04,000
Oh, just leave me alone, Jim, for God's
sake.

275
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:13,960
She'll be terribly upset.

276
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,180
Gavin was her first husband, you know.

277
00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:21,780
Apparently better in the bedroom than
me, but not as emotionally malleable.

278
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:23,859
Or so she says, anyway.

279
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,200
What are you doing?

280
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:31,380
Tidying, Duncan.

281
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:37,500
We've got lunches to serve tomorrow and
I can't be slipping on blood and what

282
00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:43,520
looks like it might be a little bit...
Fine.

283
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:49,560
Yeah, Bella, I'm guessing the forensics
guys might not be keen on you hoovering

284
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:56,120
up the... I want to say evidence, but...
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah.

285
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:57,900
Destroying evidence...

286
00:17:58,190 --> 00:18:01,690
All the police college training, coming
back to me now, is frowned upon.

287
00:18:02,110 --> 00:18:03,710
And illegal.

288
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,590
Oh, so I'd recall.

289
00:18:06,230 --> 00:18:07,810
Poor Gavin's head.

290
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:10,410
Who could have done this?

291
00:18:10,970 --> 00:18:16,290
Speaking as an experienced officer of
the law, I'd say there's one very

292
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:17,290
suspect.

293
00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:21,310
Me?

294
00:18:22,290 --> 00:18:23,610
I'm not vaguely suspicious.

295
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,370
What's that beard made out of?

296
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,680
Sexy half -wick.

297
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,280
I see your point.

298
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:33,960
You're an outsider.

299
00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:38,640
And isn't it interesting that before you
arrived, every single member of this

300
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,960
village still had their heads attached?

301
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:43,680
It was you who tried to give Gavin's
head to the fibreglass child.

302
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:46,460
I bet your fingerprints are all over
that wrapping paper.

303
00:18:46,800 --> 00:18:48,860
Yeah, because I picked up the present.

304
00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:54,100
You should be dusting the wrapping paper
to see if Elsie's fingerprints are on

305
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:55,100
there.

306
00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:57,220
The wrapping paper?

307
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,560
I threw it on the fire.

308
00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:02,060
Was it important?

309
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:08,500
Nevertheless, I've got my eyes on you.
If there's even one more murder, well...

310
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:12,120
I'll be best pleased.

311
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:13,540
Fine.

312
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,900
Is it dangerous round here now, Martin?

313
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:22,960
It's just that my Duncan locks up the
pub on his own.

314
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,460
It takes him ever so long.

315
00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:30,210
He's got bad eyesight and sausage
fingers.

316
00:19:31,390 --> 00:19:34,230
It's a terrible combination for piddly
padlocks.

317
00:19:35,050 --> 00:19:39,190
I used to enjoy sausage fingers when we
were courting.

318
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,610
But what if they become the death of
him? It's all right.

319
00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:46,690
Nothing to worry about. Now that I've
given Terry a good warning, I'm sure

320
00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:47,690
won't be any more killing.

321
00:19:48,090 --> 00:19:50,210
After all, one murder is unlucky.

322
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,690
Two, that's unheard of.

323
00:19:53,690 --> 00:19:54,850
Right, I'll leave.

324
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,360
You lot for your fiddly bits.

325
00:19:57,980 --> 00:20:00,600
I'll see you at the Santa parade
tomorrow.

326
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,340
Yeah, Annette told me all about it.

327
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:05,900
How seriously are we taking this thing?

328
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:10,380
I've been building my sleigh for the
last six months. How about you?

329
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,400
I'm still at the parade design stage.

330
00:20:22,380 --> 00:20:23,460
There's been a murder.

331
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:25,950
Yes. A Santa's been beheaded?

332
00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:28,670
Yep. In a village with no children?
Correct. Again.

333
00:20:28,930 --> 00:20:31,130
Where everyone's weird, they all hate us
and there's tons of secrets.

334
00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:33,470
I'm running out of ways to say yes.

335
00:20:34,130 --> 00:20:35,130
Oh, God, I love it.

336
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:37,270
Good.

337
00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:40,430
Well, now, can I get on with peeling the
veg, please? Because the only thing

338
00:20:40,430 --> 00:20:44,730
that can erase the image of that
severed, bloodied head from my mind is

339
00:20:44,730 --> 00:20:46,790
creation of a perfectly balanced gravy.

340
00:20:47,610 --> 00:20:48,890
What's the Wi -Fi password?

341
00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:52,390
I want to look this place up. Wi -Fi
coming up. Just give me your phone,

342
00:20:54,990 --> 00:20:56,530
Have you just been waiting outside?

343
00:20:57,050 --> 00:20:57,949
Oh, no, no, no.

344
00:20:57,950 --> 00:21:01,810
I just happened to be passing very, very
slowly.

345
00:21:02,950 --> 00:21:04,770
So they've killed a Santa.

346
00:21:05,590 --> 00:21:07,990
Just a matter of time, the way they go
on.

347
00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:10,490
Terry, let's solve this one.

348
00:21:11,590 --> 00:21:12,890
What have we got so far?

349
00:21:13,330 --> 00:21:16,310
So far, I've got the bears for the
gravy.

350
00:21:16,910 --> 00:21:17,910
Terry!

351
00:21:18,850 --> 00:21:19,850
Focus!

352
00:21:19,980 --> 00:21:24,300
We have to get in amongst it. There's a
case to be cracked and we have to crack

353
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:25,300
it.

354
00:21:26,040 --> 00:21:28,560
The thing is, Gemma, we don't.

355
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,500
We don't have to.

356
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,220
This is what we always do.

357
00:21:33,780 --> 00:21:36,240
Let's solve a murder before our wedding
ceremony.

358
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,760
Let's solve a murder before the end of
the court's tour. Let's solve a murder

359
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,360
before the ferry sinks, drowning all of
us on board.

360
00:21:45,060 --> 00:21:46,460
Well, not this time.

361
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,100
Yes, so the village is weird.

362
00:21:49,610 --> 00:21:50,429
So what?

363
00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:51,590
Just let them be.

364
00:21:51,910 --> 00:21:56,230
I'm just going to be here making this
dinner. And then we are going to eat

365
00:21:56,230 --> 00:21:58,290
dinner. And then let's just go home.

366
00:21:58,730 --> 00:22:00,350
We're not getting involved.

367
00:22:05,590 --> 00:22:06,590
Yeah, you're right.

368
00:22:06,950 --> 00:22:07,950
Really?

369
00:22:08,530 --> 00:22:09,850
I was right.

370
00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:11,390
We're not getting involved.

371
00:22:12,230 --> 00:22:14,370
This time, it's not the restaurant.

372
00:22:14,690 --> 00:22:17,870
It's me and you. We are going to have a
fabulous Christmas.

373
00:22:19,899 --> 00:22:21,760
Nothing. Yeah, yeah, I forgot about that
bit.

374
00:22:22,120 --> 00:22:26,160
Tell you what, I'm going to help you win
this competition. Then you can get your

375
00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:29,400
turkey and you can solve a little mood.

376
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:31,520
Great.

377
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:35,000
Nothing is going to stop us. Laser
-focused, I'll be. Just you watch.

378
00:22:35,220 --> 00:22:36,220
Yeah? Good.

379
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:40,260
Because we've got about eight hours to
build a convincing sleigh for the

380
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:41,680
We'll do it in six.

381
00:22:42,740 --> 00:22:45,100
Gemma, some of these pictures, very
naughty.

382
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:49,200
I get that moment.

383
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:18,280
Duncan, I've cleaned the rat traps and
scraped all the grease out of the fryer,

384
00:23:18,300 --> 00:23:23,800
done the VAT, redesigned the menus and
done a full stock take. So you just have

385
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:27,440
to focus on this parade, babe. Go,
Duncan!

386
00:23:28,020 --> 00:23:29,020
Wow!

387
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:36,120
Susan, don't give me that sweet drip of
rice of any kind.

388
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,720
Roll in, Benjamin, to Dr. Poyne.

389
00:23:39,180 --> 00:23:40,320
I'm just spreading cheer.

390
00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:42,560
Susan, please make that point, my
darling.

391
00:23:43,620 --> 00:23:44,579
There you go.

392
00:23:44,580 --> 00:23:45,580
Suck on that one.

393
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,860
Can we avoid the bumps, please?

394
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:51,860
I am trying, Terry.

395
00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:54,860
And if it makes your belly shake like a
bowl full of jelly, maybe we'll get

396
00:23:54,860 --> 00:23:55,860
extra points.

397
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:57,820
Susan, I've a belly point.

398
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,440
I think I've earned belly points.

399
00:24:00,860 --> 00:24:01,980
What about me, Susan?

400
00:24:02,940 --> 00:24:06,520
Is that elves get extra points? Look,
I'm an elf.

401
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:07,820
Are you?

402
00:24:07,940 --> 00:24:09,510
Yes. Funny story.

403
00:24:10,250 --> 00:24:11,970
Ordered a sexy elf costume.

404
00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,430
Thought I'd get the XXX version.

405
00:24:14,650 --> 00:24:15,850
Yeah, more sexy.

406
00:24:16,190 --> 00:24:17,350
I thought it was the size.

407
00:24:19,710 --> 00:24:20,710
You're stupid.

408
00:24:21,330 --> 00:24:22,450
I don't look stupid.

409
00:24:23,010 --> 00:24:24,090
That's Rupert.

410
00:24:24,370 --> 00:24:27,590
Stop it, Trolley. You're really keeping
up with this empty -headed thing, huh?

411
00:24:27,850 --> 00:24:29,790
Brilliant. You look so stupid.

412
00:24:33,030 --> 00:24:36,870
Mold wine for all. Who says we can't
have a little tipple at Christmas?

413
00:24:41,580 --> 00:24:44,200
Oh, the only rule in life, Robert, is
having fun.

414
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,420
Oh, I'm going to get one of them old
wines.

415
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,860
And eat fluids after pushing you.

416
00:24:49,700 --> 00:24:51,360
It's like a festive Lucashead sport.

417
00:24:52,660 --> 00:24:53,860
Oh, I'll have a wine, please.

418
00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:55,120
No, help yourself.

419
00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,780
You OK?

420
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,360
Have a bit more wine. It's gone down the
wrong way.

421
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:21,550
This happens all the time with Terry
when he's trying to eat a mini sausage

422
00:25:21,550 --> 00:25:22,550
without chewing.

423
00:25:22,610 --> 00:25:25,970
The last time, Gemma. But not a chew
compulsory treat.

424
00:25:26,910 --> 00:25:27,910
Oh?

425
00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,150
Oh, dear.

426
00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:56,840
got to be a point deduction.

427
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:58,160
A used area?

428
00:25:58,180 --> 00:25:59,180
No, you're right.

429
00:25:59,780 --> 00:26:02,560
Disqualification. You can't argue with
the logic.

430
00:26:24,490 --> 00:26:25,490
What do you want?

431
00:26:25,890 --> 00:26:27,530
Just for your satire -looking.

432
00:26:29,270 --> 00:26:30,390
Aren't they angry?

433
00:26:31,570 --> 00:26:35,230
I'm grieving for a very dear, close
friend.

434
00:26:35,890 --> 00:26:36,890
Grieving?

435
00:26:37,210 --> 00:26:39,930
Well, that is not coming across at all.

436
00:26:40,350 --> 00:26:42,630
Some people flail about in tears.

437
00:26:43,290 --> 00:26:46,770
I prefer to enjoy a cold stillness when
I grieve.

438
00:26:47,010 --> 00:26:50,490
Yeah, there's a terrifying frostiness.

439
00:26:51,430 --> 00:26:56,330
Frostiness! That's it. Thank you. Oh,
been bothering me for years what that

440
00:26:56,450 --> 00:26:59,050
You have a terrifying frostiness.

441
00:27:06,030 --> 00:27:09,470
I might go and do some police -y stuff.

442
00:27:09,770 --> 00:27:15,410
Not because I've made Annette angry, but
more as a result of me making Annette

443
00:27:15,410 --> 00:27:16,910
angry, which is better.

444
00:27:17,150 --> 00:27:18,150
Love you.

445
00:27:18,670 --> 00:27:20,370
Hat still counts.

446
00:27:26,140 --> 00:27:29,660
Looks like John might have been poisoned
by his own mulled wine.

447
00:27:30,460 --> 00:27:32,780
Any idea who made the mulled wine?

448
00:27:33,220 --> 00:27:34,220
Oh, he did.

449
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:36,800
Forever on about his bloody mulled wine.

450
00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:38,740
Family recipe, he'd say.

451
00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:40,940
But we all knew he bought it pre -made.

452
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:42,760
I hate that stuff.

453
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:44,040
It stinks.

454
00:27:44,700 --> 00:27:45,920
It does, doesn't it?

455
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,840
It's like a sort of Christmassy B .O.

456
00:27:49,460 --> 00:27:52,480
Speaking of B .O., where's your sweaty
husband?

457
00:27:53,300 --> 00:27:54,380
Come on, pass me.

458
00:27:55,660 --> 00:27:56,660
Parboil.

459
00:27:57,020 --> 00:27:58,020
Parboil!

460
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:03,540
The bloody cooker's gone off!

461
00:28:03,820 --> 00:28:07,180
David! Yes, I was just passing and heard
you. The cooker, eh? Right.

462
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:09,460
It'll be the fuse box, probably tripped
out.

463
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:12,760
Well, can you trip it in? Will do. It'll
take a while. It's in the cupboard

464
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:16,480
where I keep all the guest stuff. You
know, the usual toothbrushes, linens,

465
00:28:16,480 --> 00:28:17,399
that sort of jazz.

466
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,020
Can you get me a new toothbrush while
you're in there? I forgot mine.

467
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:21,440
Oh, they're not new.

468
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,660
I keep the old ones as mementos.

469
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,800
Tell you what, I'll run one under the
tap if you like.

470
00:28:29,220 --> 00:28:30,220
Hello,

471
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:31,960
Martin. Come in.

472
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,040
Mr Brunner.

473
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:36,640
I'm here on official business.

474
00:28:37,460 --> 00:28:38,460
And that?

475
00:28:38,860 --> 00:28:39,860
Yes, the hat.

476
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:41,940
I want to ask you a few questions.

477
00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,360
Well, as long as it's not regarding my
partners.

478
00:28:45,420 --> 00:28:49,860
Afterward? After John died, you left the
scene pretty sharpish.

479
00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:51,300
Why would that be?

480
00:28:51,460 --> 00:28:54,560
Well, to tell you the truth, I don't
like the sight of dead Santas.

481
00:28:54,900 --> 00:28:57,520
Plus, I needed to be getting back to my
culinary prep.

482
00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,660
Because unfortunately, we are not yet
living in the world of the self

483
00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:02,860
-parboiling vegetable.

484
00:29:03,780 --> 00:29:07,620
As far as I'm concerned, you are the
number one suspect in this case.

485
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:09,220
Me? Still?

486
00:29:09,940 --> 00:29:10,940
Why?

487
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:12,560
You're not from around these parts.

488
00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,160
You're just not.

489
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,540
And that's all you've got to go on?

490
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:23,320
You want to win this Santathlon pretty
bad. Maybe badly enough to start killing

491
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:24,400
off the other competitors.

492
00:29:24,900 --> 00:29:27,780
No, what I want, Marty, is a turkey.

493
00:29:28,020 --> 00:29:32,580
Now, believe it or not, the possibility
of celebrating a Christmas without one

494
00:29:32,580 --> 00:29:35,300
is not enough to turn me on my side.

495
00:29:35,660 --> 00:29:39,960
Can you confirm where you were at the
time of John's death?

496
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,580
Yes. I was in a shopping trolley right
next to you.

497
00:29:46,020 --> 00:29:47,020
Right.

498
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,820
That's a shame, because I've got quite a
few follow -up questions that were

499
00:29:51,820 --> 00:29:54,660
heavily dependent on you saying no.

500
00:29:55,060 --> 00:30:00,100
Right, well, just be aware, I am
watching you like a hawk.

501
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,180
Hello? Hello? Can I come in?

502
00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:05,840
Well, everybody else is.

503
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:09,280
All right?

504
00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:10,360
Not really.

505
00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:12,620
I've got parsnips at room temperature.

506
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,200
It's every chef's worst nightmare come
true.

507
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:18,960
I might know something about these
murders that you might be interested in.

508
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:21,560
I think I should probably stay for this.

509
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,100
Yeah? Listen out for some clues.

510
00:30:25,860 --> 00:30:27,760
Are you asking me or telling me?

511
00:30:28,380 --> 00:30:29,380
I think both.

512
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,180
And why are you asking me all these
questions?

513
00:30:36,320 --> 00:30:38,540
Sorry. Sorry, it's a force of habit.

514
00:30:39,160 --> 00:30:41,520
I'm Gemma Bremmer from Bremmer
Investigations.

515
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:42,920
We catch killers.

516
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:44,840
Eventually.

517
00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:46,940
Well, there have been two deaths so far.

518
00:30:47,380 --> 00:30:50,980
How many more can we expect before you
eventually figure out who's doing it?

519
00:30:51,260 --> 00:30:52,360
Oh, we're not involved.

520
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:55,360
Not in this case. We're just here on our
Christmas hole.

521
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,500
Terry would kill me if he thought I was
here mooching round asking questions.

522
00:31:00,300 --> 00:31:03,240
But you do seem particularly upset about
John.

523
00:31:04,220 --> 00:31:09,140
More than the level of upset someone
would feel for just a friend, for

524
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,060
Oh, so you're thinking I was having an
affair with John?

525
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,360
What? No!

526
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:16,440
A little bit, yes.

527
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:17,920
Gemma, this is the countryside.

528
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:19,320
We're all having affairs.

529
00:31:19,980 --> 00:31:23,420
John was handsome, kind and masterful in
the bedroom.

530
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,420
So why do you think I'd want to kill
him?

531
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:31,100
Because he wanted to end it. He didn't
want to end it.

532
00:31:31,300 --> 00:31:34,260
If he hadn't died, we'd be at it like
roughing reindeer right now.

533
00:31:36,020 --> 00:31:38,640
Gavin, he was the first victim.

534
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:43,640
He was your first husband as well,
wasn't he? Yeah, until I got bored of

535
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:44,640
had an affair with Roy.

536
00:31:45,580 --> 00:31:47,920
Then I got bored of him, had an affair
with Ed.

537
00:31:48,340 --> 00:31:49,340
Bored.

538
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,620
Had a little thing with Mandy, but she
was very annoying.

539
00:31:53,140 --> 00:31:58,220
Then there was Andy, Peter... Oh, Jason.

540
00:31:59,480 --> 00:32:04,520
Then another Andy, Martin for a while,
and then I decided to marry him. Then I

541
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:06,540
got bored of him and started an affair
with John.

542
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,300
Suppose I'll have to look elsewhere now.

543
00:32:09,740 --> 00:32:11,720
Aren't you worried that Martin would
find out?

544
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,300
Martin? The defective detective?

545
00:32:15,180 --> 00:32:17,520
I don't think he's ever found out
anything about anything.

546
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,000
So what have you found out so far?

547
00:32:23,380 --> 00:32:25,100
Oh, God, yeah, that'd be good to know.

548
00:32:25,300 --> 00:32:30,960
You know, frosty reception, bizarre
Father Christmas ritual, a village that

549
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,580
likes to hold its turkeys to ransom.

550
00:32:33,980 --> 00:32:35,800
That's the tip of the iceberg, I'm
afraid.

551
00:32:36,180 --> 00:32:37,580
I know everything.

552
00:32:38,020 --> 00:32:41,960
I've lived here all my life, worked for
most of them from time to time,

553
00:32:42,020 --> 00:32:45,250
although... They seem to like to sack me
after a few weeks.

554
00:32:45,830 --> 00:32:46,830
Ungrateful prat.

555
00:32:47,090 --> 00:32:48,510
Does that sound like a grudge?

556
00:32:48,910 --> 00:32:50,630
Coming off very grudgy at the minute.

557
00:32:50,990 --> 00:32:52,970
Right. And they don't laugh at my joke.

558
00:32:53,310 --> 00:32:56,650
I made a particularly good headless
Santa one earlier that got nothing.

559
00:32:57,010 --> 00:33:00,350
I don't think it's the material. I think
it's that you're very unlikable.

560
00:33:01,290 --> 00:33:02,290
That's Susan.

561
00:33:02,370 --> 00:33:03,370
She's the worst.

562
00:33:03,610 --> 00:33:04,930
She is, isn't she?

563
00:33:05,490 --> 00:33:08,290
She's got a very spiteful face as well,
to my mind.

564
00:33:08,610 --> 00:33:11,410
She drools over that Santa competition
like she's...

565
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:12,920
Queen of the North Pole.

566
00:33:14,260 --> 00:33:15,900
Does North Pole have a queen?

567
00:33:16,380 --> 00:33:18,200
Is it a principality, per se?

568
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:21,600
Or is it short for the North of Poland?

569
00:33:22,420 --> 00:33:24,800
And should I also write that down?

570
00:33:26,420 --> 00:33:30,100
All I'm saying is, you'd do well to keep
an eye on her.

571
00:33:31,340 --> 00:33:37,000
Keep an eye on her. Who?

572
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:12,540
I'm worried it'll be me next.

573
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,460
Not letting anyone notice if I was alive
or dead.

574
00:34:15,860 --> 00:34:16,940
He's right about that.

575
00:34:17,159 --> 00:34:18,159
Very true.

576
00:34:18,340 --> 00:34:19,340
Yeah, lovely.

577
00:34:19,699 --> 00:34:21,639
Oh, God, open a bottle of wine, Terry.

578
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,280
We are getting flushed tonight.

579
00:34:25,380 --> 00:34:27,840
Oh, you might want to put a towel under
me while we go to bed.

580
00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:29,360
Could be a leaky one.

581
00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:33,139
We're not pointing out our relationship.

582
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:37,739
Oh, you're never going to... Oh, hello
there.

583
00:34:38,020 --> 00:34:39,400
You sleep in the same bed?

584
00:34:40,100 --> 00:34:42,080
Annette won't let me sleep in the same
room.

585
00:34:42,380 --> 00:34:45,320
She sleepwalks, you see. Gone for hours
sometimes.

586
00:34:45,980 --> 00:34:50,060
John was often good enough to find her
and drop her off back at home for me.

587
00:34:50,699 --> 00:34:51,699
Great bloke.

588
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:52,880
I really miss him.

589
00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:57,220
Remember what I told you.

590
00:34:58,220 --> 00:34:59,560
It's not safe out there.

591
00:35:02,420 --> 00:35:03,299
He's right.

592
00:35:03,300 --> 00:35:04,299
It's not.

593
00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:05,760
Actually, could you walk me home?

594
00:35:06,020 --> 00:35:07,220
I'm feeling a bit scared.

595
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:08,640
Hang on.

596
00:35:08,980 --> 00:35:12,060
You're meant to be the copper here,
protecting the community.

597
00:35:15,240 --> 00:35:16,960
Fine. Come on, then.

598
00:35:18,020 --> 00:35:23,040
Right, well, I think I've learned all
that I'm capable of here today. But

599
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:26,640
remember, Terry, like a hawk, a police
hawk.

600
00:35:32,500 --> 00:35:35,500
What did they want?

601
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:37,980
To warn me, I think.

602
00:35:38,620 --> 00:35:40,660
I'm just not focused right now.

603
00:35:41,900 --> 00:35:43,460
They think Susan's the murderer.

604
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,620
Oh, the competition woman with the
clipboard.

605
00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:48,718
Could be.

606
00:35:48,720 --> 00:35:50,600
Good job Martin's looking after this
one.

607
00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:52,080
Oh, the defective detective.

608
00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:55,620
A good cover for a killer.

609
00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:56,820
You what? What?

610
00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:59,200
Yeah. It is. Good.

611
00:36:01,020 --> 00:36:02,100
Then it all happened.

612
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:03,480
Not getting involved.

613
00:36:03,740 --> 00:36:04,740
Nope. Good.

614
00:36:05,040 --> 00:36:06,800
Because I'm enjoying being a bystander.

615
00:36:07,400 --> 00:36:10,520
I've never biased her before. It's
surprising how little energy it takes.

616
00:36:11,040 --> 00:36:16,140
Yeah, now... Did I hear you mention
wine?

617
00:36:16,420 --> 00:36:18,580
No, you heard you mention wine.

618
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:23,100
Well, let's stop mentioning it and let's
start drinking it.

619
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:28,760
And then this oversized sexy Christmas
elf costume is coming off and you might

620
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:29,760
get lucky.

621
00:36:30,620 --> 00:36:35,080
Besides the inevitable loss of life that
seems to constantly surround us,

622
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,660
this... He's turning into our best
Christmas ever.

623
00:36:39,060 --> 00:36:42,840
Oh, who's that now?

624
00:36:43,540 --> 00:36:46,840
Probably David. Come to, I don't know,
trample our DNA or something.

625
00:36:47,860 --> 00:36:52,700
Whoever it is, tell them we're having
our perfect, romantic, uninterrupted

626
00:36:52,700 --> 00:36:53,700
Christmas.

627
00:37:31,980 --> 00:37:35,740
Taxi driver was saying there's been two
murders in the village since you

628
00:37:35,740 --> 00:37:39,480
arrived. Correct. Do you ever think it
might be you, Gemma?

629
00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:42,560
What? Well, she's right. You do have
quite a dark energy.

630
00:37:43,020 --> 00:37:47,400
I still don't understand what the two of
you are doing here. Well, we didn't

631
00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:50,600
like to think of you being here on your
own, so... Ta -da!

632
00:37:51,700 --> 00:37:54,100
And we couldn't be bothered to cook our
own Christmas dinner.

633
00:37:54,980 --> 00:37:58,940
And I know what you're like, Gemma,
leaving your little clues for us to join

634
00:37:58,940 --> 00:38:01,580
you. A treasure hunt. Very festive.

635
00:38:02,340 --> 00:38:03,800
Clues? What clues?

636
00:38:04,180 --> 00:38:07,840
Leaving your laptop lying around. All we
had to do was power it up, figure out

637
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,320
your password, then hack into your
email, then go through that, find out

638
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,600
the booking website where he was
staying.

639
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:13,698
And here we are.

640
00:38:13,700 --> 00:38:15,060
And it's clearly what you wanted.

641
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:16,560
Oh!

642
00:38:16,900 --> 00:38:19,500
And who do we have here?

643
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,080
Extra guests.

644
00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:25,600
Usually we had a fair charge for that,
but when two such...

645
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:30,440
Glamorous angels knock on the door at
Christmas. What kind of innkeeper would

646
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:31,780
be to turn you away?

647
00:38:32,240 --> 00:38:35,980
And who is this? And why is it my skin
started crawling?

648
00:38:36,580 --> 00:38:42,300
This is David, Mum. He rents this place
out while still living here, which has

649
00:38:42,300 --> 00:38:45,480
the added benefit of being both
intrusive and smothering.

650
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:49,600
The best thing is, Patricia, completely
blind to it.

651
00:38:49,820 --> 00:38:52,240
Oh, they do love their little jokes,
don't they?

652
00:38:53,100 --> 00:38:55,800
Welcome to our happy little family,
Patricia.

653
00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:03,400
And... Oh, I feel bile coming up when I
look at you. I mean, not a lot, but just

654
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:04,740
enough to make me feel a bit suspicious.

655
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:06,900
This is Monica, David.

656
00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:08,980
Monica, delightful.

657
00:39:09,660 --> 00:39:12,060
And this has ruined Christmas.

658
00:39:12,620 --> 00:39:14,880
Oh, no, Gemma's already done that,
hasn't she, Terry?

659
00:39:15,460 --> 00:39:17,080
Gemma forgot to bring the turkey.

660
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:21,720
Gemma! So no Christmas dinner as well?

661
00:39:22,810 --> 00:39:25,050
Now we're calling it nothingness.

662
00:39:25,730 --> 00:39:27,570
We're having nothingness dinner.

663
00:39:57,130 --> 00:39:58,470
Let's see this through to the end.

664
00:40:30,890 --> 00:40:31,890
What are you doing?

665
00:40:32,350 --> 00:40:36,110
I am mixing the dough for the cranberry
and cinnamon swirl buns.

666
00:40:36,370 --> 00:40:38,770
I will be serving warm for breakfast
tomorrow.

667
00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:43,950
I had to get up early because now I'm
catering for twice the people I planned

668
00:40:43,950 --> 00:40:44,950
them.

669
00:40:45,990 --> 00:40:48,770
Are you annoyed as it ruined Christmas?

670
00:40:49,130 --> 00:40:52,650
I know I forgot the turkey, but can we
just let it go and try and have a nice

671
00:40:52,650 --> 00:40:53,650
time, yeah?

672
00:40:53,950 --> 00:40:56,830
This is me trying, Jack.

673
00:41:07,850 --> 00:41:08,850
I'll go then.

674
00:41:25,710 --> 00:41:29,050
If you want to crack the case, visit the
village hall.

675
00:41:29,490 --> 00:41:31,390
There is no time to lose.

676
00:41:32,810 --> 00:41:34,290
Well, we have to go. Whoa!

677
00:41:35,190 --> 00:41:36,190
No, we don't.

678
00:41:37,290 --> 00:41:38,810
No investigating, remember?

679
00:41:39,390 --> 00:41:42,110
Terry, no -one could be in trouble.

680
00:41:42,890 --> 00:41:45,810
Now put that pet lip away for five
seconds and come with me.

681
00:41:46,110 --> 00:41:47,110
We'll come.

682
00:41:47,510 --> 00:41:48,510
What are we doing?

683
00:41:49,490 --> 00:41:50,490
We're solving a murder.

684
00:41:50,910 --> 00:41:53,590
Even though we said we wouldn't? Well,
let us do it.

685
00:41:54,010 --> 00:41:55,130
Just us girls.

686
00:41:55,630 --> 00:41:56,630
It'll be fun.

687
00:41:56,890 --> 00:41:58,590
The Draper girls.

688
00:41:59,610 --> 00:42:01,350
I'm a Bremer now, a married mum.

689
00:42:01,630 --> 00:42:02,630
Oh, you'll never be a Bremer.

690
00:42:03,090 --> 00:42:06,980
We are family. Him. Not him. That's what
we do.

691
00:42:07,260 --> 00:42:11,220
Christmas, together, getting involved in
people's lives, invited or not.

692
00:42:11,420 --> 00:42:14,460
Oh, and we can have Terry's dough ball
things when we get back later.

693
00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:16,300
Which smell delicious.

694
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:18,120
Let's go.

695
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:19,280
Oh, Christmas!

696
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:20,440
Christmas!

697
00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:23,720
We're murdered!

698
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,320
There's two more before dinner time.

699
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:32,240
Oh, look, we're the Three Wise Women.

700
00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:39,020
Bringing gold, frankincense and myrrh.
Duh.

701
00:42:39,860 --> 00:42:40,860
Yeah?

702
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,680
Guys? I did a joke.

703
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:46,460
Very disrespectful.

704
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,500
And on Christmas Eve as well.

705
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:51,080
Oh,

706
00:42:57,840 --> 00:43:03,780
now that's a cracker. Oh, I see.

707
00:43:04,930 --> 00:43:07,770
Crack the case, and it's a cracker.
Help!

708
00:43:08,050 --> 00:43:09,050
I can't breathe!

709
00:43:09,330 --> 00:43:10,328
Right, we're coming!

710
00:43:10,330 --> 00:43:11,330
Wait.

711
00:43:11,630 --> 00:43:14,730
I once appeared out of something very
similar at a party for the Backstreet

712
00:43:14,730 --> 00:43:17,030
Boys. They were furious. They didn't
know how I got in there.

713
00:43:17,290 --> 00:43:19,730
Thankfully, I'm gorgeous, so we just
continued to party.

714
00:43:22,710 --> 00:43:24,050
How does that help us now?

715
00:43:24,310 --> 00:43:26,270
Well, it's just a nice memory that I
thought I'd share, Gemma.

716
00:43:26,570 --> 00:43:27,570
Help!

717
00:43:28,950 --> 00:43:30,110
Help! Take me out!

718
00:43:33,070 --> 00:43:34,090
It's a woman's voice.

719
00:43:34,540 --> 00:43:35,980
Very shrill and annoying.

720
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:37,780
Slightly old Gemma.

721
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:40,340
Susan! Is that you?

722
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,960
Yes! Please help me! OK, don't worry.

723
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:45,280
Sit tight.

724
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,080
Come on, girls.

725
00:43:47,540 --> 00:43:50,120
We should better be grateful. These
nails cost a fortune.

726
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:51,880
Gemma, what are we thinking?

727
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:55,160
There's only one way to open a cracker.
Oh!

728
00:43:58,240 --> 00:43:59,720
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

729
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:01,780
I don't think this is a good idea.

730
00:44:02,100 --> 00:44:03,540
Gemma, we've got to get her out.

731
00:44:03,780 --> 00:44:04,880
Mum, let's coordinate.

732
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:06,520
Something's not right.

733
00:44:06,660 --> 00:44:08,980
On the count of three, give it all
you've got.

734
00:44:09,580 --> 00:44:10,960
One, two, three.

735
00:44:41,230 --> 00:44:44,710
Start banging it in the middle of
another bunch of bloody murders.

736
00:44:45,550 --> 00:44:47,250
You promised me, Gemma.

737
00:44:47,750 --> 00:44:49,110
You promised me.

738
00:44:50,470 --> 00:44:53,970
This is all rather awkward, though,
isn't it?

739
00:44:54,630 --> 00:44:57,350
Technically, those three killed Susan.

740
00:44:57,810 --> 00:45:00,930
So that's all four of you under
suspicion, really.

741
00:45:01,490 --> 00:45:02,710
It could be a gang.

742
00:45:03,030 --> 00:45:06,550
A murderous gang come to the village to
kill us all.

743
00:45:06,990 --> 00:45:08,870
Who are you?

744
00:45:09,090 --> 00:45:10,090
No.

745
00:45:10,220 --> 00:45:13,940
Look, we were trying to save her. We
killed her unwittingly.

746
00:45:14,220 --> 00:45:18,820
We were just being reckless. Yeah, yeah,
that's it. That's it. We killed her

747
00:45:18,820 --> 00:45:21,720
recklessly. Oh, she's in the clear,
then.

748
00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:24,640
Recklessly killing someone is not a
crime.

749
00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:26,080
Yes, it is.

750
00:45:26,300 --> 00:45:27,700
It's called manslaughter.

751
00:45:28,540 --> 00:45:29,960
Is that what that is?

752
00:45:31,420 --> 00:45:32,420
Oh, God.

753
00:45:33,780 --> 00:45:37,840
I have let an embarrassingly large
number of people get away with that.

754
00:45:39,050 --> 00:45:41,690
As soon as I heard the news, I came
running. Is everyone all right?

755
00:45:42,470 --> 00:45:43,470
Rupert?

756
00:45:43,670 --> 00:45:44,670
Are you in shock?

757
00:45:44,730 --> 00:45:47,330
Or is that reaction all your empty mind
can muster? Leave him alone.

758
00:45:47,970 --> 00:45:49,230
Just his resting face.

759
00:45:50,130 --> 00:45:51,530
It's not his fault it's vacant.

760
00:45:52,450 --> 00:45:54,310
And what might your name be?

761
00:45:55,250 --> 00:46:00,110
Centaur Clausenhoff is often accompanied
by Lethal, the sultry redhead spirit of

762
00:46:00,110 --> 00:46:01,110
the forest.

763
00:46:01,510 --> 00:46:05,990
I'm not sultry. I've just got a mard on.
And it's Gemma. I saw you at the

764
00:46:05,990 --> 00:46:08,540
parade. You have lived in my mind ever
since.

765
00:46:08,880 --> 00:46:10,440
I can live in your mind if you like.

766
00:46:10,720 --> 00:46:12,580
Or on your lap, say.

767
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,040
Whatever suits.

768
00:46:14,700 --> 00:46:19,460
And I might not be in your age bracket,
but if you'd like to take a right in an

769
00:46:19,460 --> 00:46:22,640
old classic, I'd happily leave the top
down.

770
00:46:24,020 --> 00:46:27,340
An elder offering her body for
sacrifice.

771
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:31,760
Thank you. But sadly, Centaur Klausenhof
has some standards.

772
00:46:34,420 --> 00:46:35,420
What's wrong with you?

773
00:46:35,630 --> 00:46:39,550
You have an invited mother and sister
have killed the woman who runs the

774
00:46:39,550 --> 00:46:44,510
competition. So literally, I have no
chance now of getting us a turkey.

775
00:46:45,090 --> 00:46:46,410
Back to this, is it?

776
00:46:46,650 --> 00:46:51,770
I'm going to knock up a delicious gravy,
which, thanks to someone, we'll be

777
00:46:51,770 --> 00:46:53,310
pouring onto half -empty plates.

778
00:46:56,130 --> 00:47:01,210
That is, if there is anyone left to eat
it at all, are you three planning to get

779
00:47:01,210 --> 00:47:04,630
in a bit more manslaughter before I
serve up starters?

780
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:31,040
Hello? Who are you?

781
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,160
Can I ask you some questions?

782
00:47:34,780 --> 00:47:38,240
Got a pesky murder thing going on and
apparently that's what I'm supposed to

783
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,240
No, don't go away.

784
00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:42,360
Let's not be silly. No, don't be shy.

785
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:43,860
Be

786
00:47:43,860 --> 00:47:50,760
calm down

787
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:51,760
while I was in the shower.

788
00:47:52,020 --> 00:47:53,400
What was all that about anyway?

789
00:47:53,980 --> 00:47:56,280
Pouring gravy on a half -empty plate.

790
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:59,000
to get over this or what?

791
00:47:59,220 --> 00:48:00,220
No.

792
00:48:00,520 --> 00:48:03,740
This should have been a perfect,
romantic Christmas.

793
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:05,160
Yeah? Now it's ruined.

794
00:48:05,380 --> 00:48:06,960
I mean, totally ruined.

795
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,720
Because of your stupid mum and your
ratty sister.

796
00:48:09,980 --> 00:48:10,879
How dare you?

797
00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:11,880
I'm fine with it.

798
00:48:12,260 --> 00:48:13,260
No.

799
00:48:13,820 --> 00:48:17,540
Between the three of you, you've made
nothingness.

800
00:48:17,840 --> 00:48:21,180
Well, I was going to ask you if you
wanted to go on one of them Christmas

801
00:48:21,180 --> 00:48:24,500
and have one of those great chats that
you were looking forward to. But do you

802
00:48:24,500 --> 00:48:25,279
know what?

803
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:26,480
I think it'd be better.

804
00:48:27,020 --> 00:48:28,020
If I went without you.

805
00:48:28,260 --> 00:48:29,260
Well, maybe you did.

806
00:48:29,400 --> 00:48:36,360
Give it time. She'll calm down. She's my
daughter and I love

807
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:39,080
her. But she's a strop in the days long.

808
00:48:39,580 --> 00:48:40,920
You can say that again.

809
00:48:41,240 --> 00:48:43,840
One strop after another since you got
here.

810
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:48,260
I don't know how you had the patience to
raise her, Patricia.

811
00:48:48,860 --> 00:48:50,040
It's not working.

812
00:48:51,360 --> 00:48:54,760
I have been shut it up many times in my
life.

813
00:48:55,630 --> 00:48:58,910
But you're the first man who has ever
chatted me down.

814
00:49:07,490 --> 00:49:10,610
Oh, now he stands a chance.

815
00:49:12,810 --> 00:49:13,810
Lethal.

816
00:49:14,550 --> 00:49:18,350
OK, Gemma, I just wanted to say sorry
about before.

817
00:49:18,870 --> 00:49:20,530
Save it, Samuel. I'm going for a walk.

818
00:49:20,770 --> 00:49:21,850
Oh, anywhere nice.

819
00:49:22,350 --> 00:49:26,790
Fields, forests, general countryside. At
this point, all I'm after is somewhere

820
00:49:26,790 --> 00:49:27,790
green that smells of poo.

821
00:49:27,990 --> 00:49:32,230
Walk? Yeah, thought I'd take one too.
I'll come with.

822
00:49:32,450 --> 00:49:33,850
It's the kind of thing I do.

823
00:49:34,690 --> 00:49:36,830
Spontaneous and likely to build up a
sweat.

824
00:49:37,270 --> 00:49:42,350
Then I shall accompany you. A guardian
to protect your honour and perhaps win

825
00:49:42,350 --> 00:49:43,209
you heart.

826
00:49:43,210 --> 00:49:44,210
Oh, no chance.

827
00:49:49,770 --> 00:49:53,190
Such a beautiful part of the world,
isn't it? My home!

828
00:49:53,930 --> 00:49:56,690
I mean, I live in a house, obviously.

829
00:49:57,010 --> 00:50:03,030
A rather pricey new build, actually. But
oftentimes I come out here because it's

830
00:50:03,030 --> 00:50:04,410
so damn enchanting.

831
00:50:04,670 --> 00:50:05,930
Yes, like me.

832
00:50:06,490 --> 00:50:08,830
When I'm naked and oiled.

833
00:50:11,150 --> 00:50:13,190
What more do I have to do?

834
00:50:13,710 --> 00:50:15,670
Uh, not enjoying the walk?

835
00:50:15,910 --> 00:50:17,290
Perhaps I could, uh...

836
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:22,860
beckon a deer to eat from your hand or
stomp on a bad just set scale one out

837
00:50:22,860 --> 00:50:29,040
could look at it for a bit does this
usually work this man of the forest crap

838
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:35,920
well yeah also i'm very good looking i
don't understand why it's not working

839
00:50:35,920 --> 00:50:42,600
on you i just need something more and i
have that in route wreck

840
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,540
perry yes but he's the christmas fool

841
00:51:01,290 --> 00:51:02,049
Shall I show her?

842
00:51:02,050 --> 00:51:03,050
Yes.

843
00:51:03,350 --> 00:51:07,930
Can I, uh, with great reluctance,

844
00:51:07,950 --> 00:51:13,430
ask her advice?

845
00:51:13,950 --> 00:51:15,830
Oh, this should be fun.

846
00:51:16,490 --> 00:51:22,930
No, I was just thinking maybe I...
Overreacted about Gemma forgetting the

847
00:51:22,930 --> 00:51:26,910
turkey? And perhaps she'd have seen that
she already felt guilty about it, and

848
00:51:26,910 --> 00:51:28,510
maybe you should have had a little bit
more understanding.

849
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:33,360
Yeah. She should love.

850
00:51:34,420 --> 00:51:38,980
What, make it up to her when she gets
back? By giving her the best nothingness

851
00:51:38,980 --> 00:51:40,380
she has ever had?

852
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:43,980
Yeah, yeah. I think you have to make
your own mind up about that sort of

853
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:45,959
Thank you, Tricia.

854
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:51,340
I will warn you that Samuel has gone for
a walk with her and Monica. Got designs

855
00:51:51,340 --> 00:51:52,460
on her he has.

856
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:57,700
Now, I'm not saying she'd do anything
because she's pledged herself to you in

857
00:51:57,700 --> 00:51:59,120
marriage, but...

858
00:51:59,530 --> 00:52:04,250
But when I was married, I'd have given
him a knee trembler.

859
00:52:04,870 --> 00:52:06,410
Marriage vows or not.

860
00:52:07,870 --> 00:52:08,870
Samuel!

861
00:52:10,090 --> 00:52:11,690
Will you say anything?

862
00:52:16,830 --> 00:52:18,890
A knee trembler, you say?

863
00:52:19,270 --> 00:52:20,270
No!

864
00:52:23,470 --> 00:52:27,990
I think some women need a bit of
substance in a relationship, Samuel.

865
00:52:28,370 --> 00:52:29,370
Substance?

866
00:52:32,509 --> 00:52:33,509
Ah, substance.

867
00:52:33,950 --> 00:52:35,350
I see. OK.

868
00:52:36,010 --> 00:52:37,390
Not me.

869
00:52:38,830 --> 00:52:39,850
Superficiality's all I master.

870
00:52:40,210 --> 00:52:42,510
If it doesn't look good on Instagram, it
doesn't look good on me.

871
00:52:43,850 --> 00:52:46,110
Um, but Gemma... No.

872
00:52:46,910 --> 00:52:49,390
No. This is not how it works.

873
00:52:49,690 --> 00:52:52,310
I get the boys I want and Gemma gets the
leftovers.

874
00:52:52,530 --> 00:52:55,710
No. You're overreacting a little bit. I
am.

875
00:52:55,970 --> 00:52:57,650
I am overreacting. You know why?

876
00:52:57,910 --> 00:52:59,170
Because I'm good at it.

877
00:52:59,910 --> 00:53:00,990
I want you.

878
00:53:01,450 --> 00:53:02,450
So I should have you.

879
00:53:02,550 --> 00:53:04,470
Gemma won't feel bad about it, will you,
Gemma?

880
00:53:04,850 --> 00:53:07,130
No. But can I just say... Say?

881
00:53:07,610 --> 00:53:09,230
Say? You don't need to say anything.

882
00:53:09,630 --> 00:53:10,630
Just do.

883
00:53:11,210 --> 00:53:14,470
Do me for Christmas. Shut up, OK?

884
00:53:15,190 --> 00:53:17,590
Just shut up!

885
00:53:20,390 --> 00:53:22,330
Everything has to be your way, doesn't
it?

886
00:53:22,870 --> 00:53:23,970
The way you want.

887
00:53:24,450 --> 00:53:25,750
You're as bad as all the others.

888
00:53:26,590 --> 00:53:31,520
They all want this... Perfect little
village and their perfect little lives.

889
00:53:31,900 --> 00:53:33,460
OK, you're getting a little bit intense.

890
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:36,260
Still keen, but let's not go any darker.

891
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:40,040
Did you ever think, Gemma, maybe these
murders are what they need?

892
00:53:40,500 --> 00:53:42,400
Show them they can't have everything
they want.

893
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:44,680
Maybe the killings are a good thing.

894
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,100
Maybe the murderer is right.

895
00:53:48,860 --> 00:53:49,860
That!

896
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,520
I've changed my mind. You can have him,
Gemma.

897
00:53:54,160 --> 00:53:55,160
Bye, Co.

898
00:53:55,340 --> 00:53:57,520
I mean, not good psycho, where it's
romantic.

899
00:53:58,700 --> 00:53:59,720
Psycho. Very bad.

900
00:54:25,520 --> 00:54:26,520
That's not good.

901
00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:29,760
I think we might head back now.

902
00:54:31,020 --> 00:54:32,020
On our own.

903
00:54:32,380 --> 00:54:35,480
At what, at first glance, may look like
running.

904
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:40,420
Run. Is that what you want, Gemma? To
pass up the opportunity to be with me?

905
00:54:40,720 --> 00:54:42,640
No! There's more like it.

906
00:54:43,140 --> 00:54:44,140
Oh, my God, no!

907
00:54:47,220 --> 00:54:48,220
Oh, Jack.

908
00:54:50,260 --> 00:54:51,260
Who?

909
00:54:53,160 --> 00:54:54,700
Jack, the local handyman.

910
00:54:55,070 --> 00:54:56,070
Disappeared at the weekend.

911
00:54:56,650 --> 00:54:58,490
Everyone thought he left because of the
sansathlon.

912
00:54:58,710 --> 00:55:01,390
Came in last, last year. The shame
nearly killed him.

913
00:55:01,770 --> 00:55:04,330
Well, something else actually has killed
him this year, Samuel.

914
00:55:05,170 --> 00:55:09,670
Something or someone or some... Just the
first two, actually.

915
00:55:11,270 --> 00:55:12,270
Right.

916
00:55:12,650 --> 00:55:13,850
There's no climbing out.

917
00:55:14,850 --> 00:55:18,370
And if I fall... I'm on you lot, aren't
I?

918
00:55:20,090 --> 00:55:21,270
There's only one thing funny.

919
00:55:22,630 --> 00:55:23,870
Time to start screaming.

920
00:55:29,100 --> 00:55:32,340
I'll, um, run back to the village. Sound
the alarm with the townsfolk.

921
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:34,360
Yes.

922
00:55:35,980 --> 00:55:41,400
Why are all the ones with pert bums
absolute maniacs? I include myself in

923
00:55:46,660 --> 00:55:53,500
Who are you? And did you

924
00:55:53,500 --> 00:55:55,180
do this murdering?

925
00:55:59,150 --> 00:56:00,770
You are strangers here.

926
00:56:01,330 --> 00:56:05,290
I hope you and your husband, Adam,
planning to stay here, have kids.

927
00:56:05,290 --> 00:56:08,370
you do, they're not going to like that.
They're not going to like that one

928
00:56:08,370 --> 00:56:09,370
little bit.

929
00:56:11,170 --> 00:56:12,690
I'm going to start running now. Keep it.

930
00:56:13,450 --> 00:56:14,610
I'll join you.

931
00:56:17,850 --> 00:56:20,970
If anyone's coming to help, now would be
a good time.

932
00:56:23,670 --> 00:56:25,070
It's going to be night soon.

933
00:56:27,210 --> 00:56:28,630
That's what they don't get, really.

934
00:56:32,110 --> 00:56:35,830
I'm sitting down, but only I have a
sense of comfort.

935
00:56:37,070 --> 00:56:38,430
I want to feel small.

936
00:56:39,350 --> 00:56:41,070
Maybe I'll protect it.

937
00:56:45,870 --> 00:56:48,970
So much further on the way back.

938
00:56:49,250 --> 00:56:51,330
It was worse for me. I had the fear of
being killed.

939
00:56:51,910 --> 00:56:55,650
So did I. Gemma, they killed a pretty
one first. You of all people should know

940
00:56:55,650 --> 00:56:56,650
that.

941
00:56:57,850 --> 00:56:58,850
David!

942
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:04,700
Oh, hello, Gemma. I was just sniffing
your mum's feet.

943
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:06,360
Oh.

944
00:57:08,580 --> 00:57:09,580
Oh.

945
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:13,460
Look at her.

946
00:57:15,620 --> 00:57:17,500
Just like Christmas when we were kids.

947
00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:19,800
Where's Terry?

948
00:57:19,940 --> 00:57:20,960
Oh, he'll be in the pub.

949
00:57:21,620 --> 00:57:24,900
It's where he always goes when he's in a
huff. He'll roll in in the small hours.

950
00:57:26,560 --> 00:57:27,560
Big day tomorrow?

951
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:29,380
I got you a surprise present.

952
00:57:29,860 --> 00:57:30,860
You're going to love it.

953
00:57:31,120 --> 00:57:32,240
And I hope he's kept the receipt.

954
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:42,740
Please talk to me.

955
00:57:43,700 --> 00:57:44,700
It's been hours.

956
00:57:45,860 --> 00:57:46,860
Hello?

957
00:57:48,020 --> 00:57:49,020
Have you gone?

958
00:57:51,760 --> 00:57:54,520
Well, I think we should call it.

959
00:57:54,980 --> 00:57:56,540
Thorough search of the area.

960
00:57:58,460 --> 00:57:59,460
Hello?

961
00:58:00,140 --> 00:58:01,340
Is there someone there?

962
00:58:02,120 --> 00:58:03,480
It's Martin.

963
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,360
The law around these parts?

964
00:58:31,980 --> 00:58:35,340
Gemma, I'm really sorry. I've grown as a
person, I think.

965
00:58:36,140 --> 00:58:38,420
Maybe all I needed was to sit in a hole.

966
00:58:39,540 --> 00:58:42,200
Also, something's crawled up my leg.

967
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,680
Maybe it's time I find a home in my
personal area.

968
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,400
So we might have to look at that when we
get home, Gemma.

969
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:51,320
Gemma!

970
00:58:57,360 --> 00:58:59,620
I found what had crawled up my leg.

971
00:59:00,220 --> 00:59:01,220
That's a relief.

972
00:59:01,380 --> 00:59:03,000
Turns out it was a worm.

973
00:59:03,340 --> 00:59:04,800
It ended up eating it.

974
00:59:05,140 --> 00:59:07,060
We can have a laugh about that later.

975
00:59:07,540 --> 00:59:09,280
It wasn't dead by then.

976
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:12,180
I wish we could have a laugh in the next
life.

977
00:59:13,860 --> 00:59:14,860
Honey, Mum!

978
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:15,960
Where is my dad?

979
00:59:16,180 --> 00:59:20,540
No, no, Gemma, no shouting. You know,
Mummy likes a quiet Christmas morning.

980
00:59:20,840 --> 00:59:23,340
Oh, I was absolutely knackered after
that walk yesterday.

981
00:59:24,060 --> 00:59:25,460
Didn't even hear Terry come in.

982
00:59:26,060 --> 00:59:29,760
We'll go back out again this morning. I
mean, he must have been absolutely

983
00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:30,760
hammered.

984
00:59:31,580 --> 00:59:34,520
Started brushing my hair in the middle
of the night to bat him away.

985
00:59:36,100 --> 00:59:37,100
So?

986
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:40,160
Are you coming to the Santa competition
to cheer Terry on?

987
00:59:40,500 --> 00:59:41,500
Er, no.

988
00:59:42,040 --> 00:59:45,400
Presents. I want my presents. No,
Monica.

989
00:59:45,700 --> 00:59:47,760
We will wait to do them with Terry.

990
00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:52,260
He's put a huge effort into this
Christmas, including putting up with

991
00:59:52,340 --> 00:59:53,880
turning up uninvited.

992
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:56,280
So? We will wait.

993
00:59:56,580 --> 00:59:57,620
One, two, three.

994
00:59:59,380 --> 01:00:01,780
Mum, she's giving me that look.

995
01:00:02,160 --> 01:00:05,880
It's the same look that she gave me when
we were teenagers when she broke my

996
01:00:05,880 --> 01:00:11,160
thumb. Do as she says and I'm not
driving you to hospital again crying

997
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:13,400
your lost hitchhiking career.

998
01:00:14,020 --> 01:00:16,420
We're going to make this up to Terry,
yes?

999
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,280
Gemma, I'll make it up to you.

1000
01:00:23,340 --> 01:00:24,720
But you are, though, will you?

1001
01:00:29,100 --> 01:00:30,200
Will he walk in?

1002
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:33,600
Aye, aye.

1003
01:00:38,320 --> 01:00:39,520
This should be fun.

1004
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:41,940
No, no, no.

1005
01:00:42,340 --> 01:00:44,480
So now, the next Santa challenge.

1006
01:00:44,980 --> 01:00:46,440
Let's see how this plays out.

1007
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:48,760
Oh,

1008
01:00:49,520 --> 01:00:50,520
come on, guys.

1009
01:00:50,780 --> 01:00:54,160
I know we've had a bit of bad news
during the competition this year, but if

1010
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:56,720
don't crack on and get it done, then the
killer wins.

1011
01:00:57,160 --> 01:00:58,680
This is supposed to be fun, remember?

1012
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:02,220
Sorry. My heart's a little bruised right
now.

1013
01:01:02,660 --> 01:01:05,040
One of the outsiders has upset Samuel.

1014
01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:07,900
Typical. That's what's dulled the mood.

1015
01:01:08,200 --> 01:01:12,400
I think it might be the string of dead
Santas. And one else, Gemma. Let's not

1016
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:14,840
forget what you and Mum made me do to
that elf.

1017
01:01:15,060 --> 01:01:18,260
We're going to finish this competition,
Gemma, if that's all right with you.

1018
01:01:18,810 --> 01:01:22,010
We've been doing this for decades in
this village, and we're not stopping

1019
01:01:22,010 --> 01:01:24,850
because a few contestants have
withdrawn.

1020
01:01:25,790 --> 01:01:26,790
Righty -ho.

1021
01:01:27,130 --> 01:01:30,490
On you go, then. Let's see your little
game play out to its final conclusion.

1022
01:01:30,770 --> 01:01:34,310
The final conclusion is to be at the
head of the table for the village

1023
01:01:34,430 --> 01:01:35,430
Nothing more.

1024
01:01:35,830 --> 01:01:39,730
She's a spiky little madam, isn't she,
Gemma? She is, Mum, yeah.

1025
01:01:39,950 --> 01:01:40,609
I know.

1026
01:01:40,610 --> 01:01:42,190
I can smell my own.

1027
01:01:42,970 --> 01:01:44,390
Well, where's Terry, then?

1028
01:01:45,990 --> 01:01:48,310
Oh, you know, what he'd like is probably
getting ready for the competition.

1029
01:01:48,510 --> 01:01:50,450
Probably psyching himself up somewhere.

1030
01:01:51,990 --> 01:01:53,050
Why are you here, Willie?

1031
01:01:53,490 --> 01:01:54,810
To watch you die, silly.

1032
01:01:55,530 --> 01:01:59,510
You put me in jail, took away my life,
and now I'm going to watch you lose

1033
01:01:59,510 --> 01:02:00,510
yours.

1034
01:02:01,530 --> 01:02:02,910
I don't want to die.

1035
01:02:03,710 --> 01:02:07,570
I want to have Christmas with Gemma. You
should be with Gemma, shouldn't you?

1036
01:02:07,930 --> 01:02:11,930
In fact, if you'd have just come with
her, you'd have never fallen in this

1037
01:02:12,030 --> 01:02:13,030
would you?

1038
01:02:13,130 --> 01:02:16,510
Too obsessed with your perfect Christmas
dinner, weren't you?

1039
01:02:17,070 --> 01:02:18,070
The dinner?

1040
01:02:18,770 --> 01:02:21,310
If I don't get it in the oven soon,
it'll be ruined.

1041
01:02:21,650 --> 01:02:22,690
What am I going to do?

1042
01:02:23,010 --> 01:02:24,110
You're going to starve to death.

1043
01:02:25,130 --> 01:02:26,130
But don't worry.

1044
01:02:26,610 --> 01:02:31,830
I'm going to be here for the whole
thing, having some starvation banter

1045
01:02:31,830 --> 01:02:33,850
you. This has been the worst Christmas
ever!

1046
01:02:34,190 --> 01:02:35,650
And you'll be dead by the end of it.

1047
01:02:37,750 --> 01:02:38,750
Jeremy!

1048
01:02:40,050 --> 01:02:42,550
Right, it's the race to the top of the
chimney.

1049
01:02:43,070 --> 01:02:44,750
Bedtime win. Who's going first?

1050
01:02:45,130 --> 01:02:47,750
Me, me. Been practising on my homemade
chimney all year.

1051
01:02:48,010 --> 01:02:50,750
Fine. Robert to go first. Round of
applause for Robert.

1052
01:02:53,510 --> 01:02:54,510
This is it.

1053
01:02:54,590 --> 01:02:58,050
John beat me on this last year. It's
going to be a lot slower now, isn't it?

1054
01:02:58,290 --> 01:02:59,630
Just begin, Robert.

1055
01:03:05,310 --> 01:03:08,510
Three, two, one, line!

1056
01:03:10,990 --> 01:03:12,130
Isn't this impressive?

1057
01:03:12,890 --> 01:03:17,490
My Duncan set this whole thing up last
night.

1058
01:03:18,890 --> 01:03:20,210
I am Santa.

1059
01:03:20,590 --> 01:03:21,590
I'm going to win.

1060
01:03:22,530 --> 01:03:27,650
He's saying I should be focusing more on
Gemma's happiness and less on my search

1061
01:03:27,650 --> 01:03:28,650
for culinary perfection.

1062
01:03:29,050 --> 01:03:32,690
If that's what you want to take from all
of this, then, yeah, I suppose

1063
01:03:32,690 --> 01:03:34,130
something like that.

1064
01:03:57,960 --> 01:03:59,940
filled with bikes or something.

1065
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:08,360
I

1066
01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:15,840
need

1067
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:16,840
a drink.

1068
01:04:16,980 --> 01:04:18,240
Everyone to the pub.

1069
01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:19,520
Even the outsiders.

1070
01:04:20,240 --> 01:04:21,980
Drinks are on me.

1071
01:04:26,600 --> 01:04:28,540
Well, it's not like I would decorate.

1072
01:04:28,940 --> 01:04:33,460
A little too elegant for my taste. But I
do like what they've done with the

1073
01:04:33,460 --> 01:04:37,920
place. Oh, it wasn't me. I keep telling
everyone.

1074
01:04:38,320 --> 01:04:43,920
I laid the carpet, got the licence,
ordered the stock, did the pricing, de

1075
01:04:43,920 --> 01:04:50,180
-loused the seating, cleaned up the
vomit and ran the pub quiz so that my

1076
01:04:50,180 --> 01:04:54,820
could concentrate on the biggest job of
all.

1077
01:04:56,430 --> 01:04:57,850
The Christmas decorations.

1078
01:04:58,610 --> 01:04:59,610
Oh, well.

1079
01:04:59,850 --> 01:05:02,610
Let's hope he didn't put the severed
head in the Christmas present.

1080
01:05:03,750 --> 01:05:05,130
Always a red flag for me.

1081
01:05:06,190 --> 01:05:07,770
I've gone out there. No, Gemma.

1082
01:05:08,310 --> 01:05:11,950
First severed head. I am out, with very
few exceptions.

1083
01:05:13,130 --> 01:05:14,730
Duncan decorated the pub.

1084
01:05:16,090 --> 01:05:17,670
What about John's mulled wine?

1085
01:05:18,670 --> 01:05:21,290
Annette said... We all knew he bought it
pre -made.

1086
01:05:21,550 --> 01:05:23,830
Where's the only place that you can buy
booze in this village?

1087
01:05:24,190 --> 01:05:25,690
I don't know. Here?

1088
01:05:29,030 --> 01:05:35,970
pub. The very same pub that when Duncan
locks it up he'll be outside all on his

1089
01:05:35,970 --> 01:05:36,970
own.

1090
01:05:37,070 --> 01:05:41,870
It takes him ever so long. Long enough
to stick Susan in a massive cracker, I'd

1091
01:05:41,870 --> 01:05:45,810
say. Then Duncan put up the fake chimney
that killed Robert.

1092
01:05:46,110 --> 01:05:47,110
Yes, thank you, David.

1093
01:05:47,650 --> 01:05:50,950
For being uncharacteristically not a
repay thing.

1094
01:05:51,590 --> 01:05:56,650
And all this because Duncan wants to win
a stupid competition.

1095
01:05:59,530 --> 01:06:00,530
Just once.

1096
01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:02,830
I think that's what you said, isn't it,
Duncan?

1097
01:06:03,430 --> 01:06:05,370
Maybe I might win this year.

1098
01:06:06,170 --> 01:06:07,170
Just once.

1099
01:06:07,250 --> 01:06:11,490
Well, I suppose you could put those
facts in that particular honour.

1100
01:06:12,870 --> 01:06:14,150
And I did, babes.

1101
01:06:14,610 --> 01:06:15,770
There you go, everyone.

1102
01:06:17,550 --> 01:06:18,550
Duncan's the murderer.

1103
01:06:19,390 --> 01:06:22,310
Someone go outside and grab the police.

1104
01:06:22,570 --> 01:06:23,570
I'll get them.

1105
01:06:24,730 --> 01:06:25,730
Don't worry, Patricia.

1106
01:06:25,890 --> 01:06:26,890
I'll be right back.

1107
01:06:28,170 --> 01:06:30,330
One killer caught, one Christmas saved.

1108
01:06:30,650 --> 01:06:31,830
Take him away, Martin.

1109
01:06:34,550 --> 01:06:35,550
Martin.

1110
01:06:37,710 --> 01:06:38,810
Where is Martin?

1111
01:06:39,150 --> 01:06:40,150
That's the point.

1112
01:06:40,710 --> 01:06:42,250
Where is my Martin?

1113
01:06:44,250 --> 01:06:45,390
Come on.

1114
01:06:45,850 --> 01:06:48,070
No! No, wait!

1115
01:06:50,430 --> 01:06:51,430
Duncan!

1116
01:06:52,510 --> 01:06:53,510
Why?

1117
01:06:55,010 --> 01:07:01,990
I broke my bloody back! making this pub
nice for you. I re -grouted the men's

1118
01:07:01,990 --> 01:07:07,570
urinal. I installed the disabled
accessibility lift. I knocked the bar

1119
01:07:07,570 --> 01:07:10,070
to the lounge. I rewired the snug.

1120
01:07:10,310 --> 01:07:15,770
I threw out the drunks. And I re -did
the pointing on the entire front of the

1121
01:07:15,770 --> 01:07:17,930
building. And for what, Duncan?

1122
01:07:18,170 --> 01:07:22,910
So that you could just waltz about
killing the bloody customers?

1123
01:07:23,450 --> 01:07:24,490
That's not me!

1124
01:07:31,340 --> 01:07:32,340
That was hideous.

1125
01:07:32,780 --> 01:07:34,120
Now you can give me my present.

1126
01:07:36,880 --> 01:07:37,880
No!

1127
01:07:38,560 --> 01:07:40,380
We have to wait until we're all
together.

1128
01:07:40,800 --> 01:07:41,800
Where's Terry?

1129
01:07:43,060 --> 01:07:44,060
Actually, where is Terry?

1130
01:07:44,700 --> 01:07:45,780
Have you seen him today?

1131
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,060
Well, you said he was trying it on with
you last night.

1132
01:07:49,120 --> 01:07:52,480
Ah, this is a little awkward.

1133
01:07:54,700 --> 01:07:59,800
Terry didn't come home last night. I'm
afraid Gemma may have...

1134
01:08:00,190 --> 01:08:04,090
I misconstrued my tucking her in as
something else.

1135
01:08:05,210 --> 01:08:07,230
I forgive her entirely, of course.

1136
01:08:09,690 --> 01:08:11,070
So who saw him laughing?

1137
01:08:12,150 --> 01:08:18,350
Well, I gave him some good advice, and
he saw how silly he'd been when you had

1138
01:08:18,350 --> 01:08:19,910
your row and went off with Samuel.

1139
01:08:20,410 --> 01:08:24,750
So he ran off into the woods to find
you. Terry!

1140
01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:27,020
Alone in the woods? Yes.

1141
01:08:27,700 --> 01:08:28,779
Without us.

1142
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:30,680
His loving family.

1143
01:08:31,420 --> 01:08:36,779
Well, loving is pushing it a bit, but
anyway, without us, his family. Oh, my

1144
01:08:36,779 --> 01:08:37,779
God.

1145
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:39,160
He'll be dead then.

1146
01:08:39,380 --> 01:08:40,380
No!

1147
01:08:41,220 --> 01:08:42,560
We're going to look for him.

1148
01:08:54,570 --> 01:08:57,390
Once we find him and retrieve the body,
will you leave?

1149
01:08:57,790 --> 01:08:59,450
We don't have to. You don't own this
place.

1150
01:09:00,149 --> 01:09:03,010
I've just been protective of where we
live. There's nothing wrong with that.

1151
01:09:03,310 --> 01:09:06,109
If I make you welcome, before we know
it, the whole village will be full of

1152
01:09:06,109 --> 01:09:11,149
strangers. And in they'll come, into my
shop, demanding to see a hygiene

1153
01:09:11,149 --> 01:09:13,149
certificate. You don't have a hygiene
certificate.

1154
01:09:13,729 --> 01:09:14,729
Wanting all sorts.

1155
01:09:15,229 --> 01:09:20,790
Quail's eggs, pulled pork, slow -cooked
something or other, sourdough as far as

1156
01:09:20,790 --> 01:09:21,790
the eye can see.

1157
01:09:22,090 --> 01:09:26,210
Wanting pale ales and asking where the
meat's been sourced from. I say the more

1158
01:09:26,210 --> 01:09:27,670
murders we have, the merrier.

1159
01:09:28,029 --> 01:09:29,630
You caught Duncan too soon.

1160
01:09:30,109 --> 01:09:32,729
Once news gets out, no -one will come
here.

1161
01:09:34,450 --> 01:09:35,450
What's wrong with her?

1162
01:09:36,770 --> 01:09:37,790
She's scared of change.

1163
01:09:38,310 --> 01:09:39,550
Oh, the change.

1164
01:09:39,990 --> 01:09:40,990
Doesn't worry me.

1165
01:09:41,109 --> 01:09:43,649
They say it comes to every woman, but
I'm not going to bother with it.

1166
01:09:43,910 --> 01:09:44,910
Me neither.

1167
01:09:47,470 --> 01:09:48,470
That's him.

1168
01:09:48,529 --> 01:09:49,529
Come on, Monica.

1169
01:09:49,670 --> 01:09:51,250
Oh, no thanks, Gemma.

1170
01:09:51,760 --> 01:09:54,660
He's not my fella, so I'm not as excited
as you are by then.

1171
01:10:03,620 --> 01:10:07,700
I think I've learnt the lesson that I
fell down here to learn.

1172
01:10:08,480 --> 01:10:10,100
I honestly couldn't care less.

1173
01:10:10,420 --> 01:10:13,040
And will I be visited by any more
spirits this day?

1174
01:10:13,300 --> 01:10:17,160
The ghost of Christmas dinner past or
the Christmas dinner yet to come?

1175
01:10:17,540 --> 01:10:19,540
Terry. I'm a hallucination.

1176
01:10:20,120 --> 01:10:21,120
How the bloody hell do I know?

1177
01:10:21,820 --> 01:10:24,320
I'll never forget what you said.

1178
01:10:29,140 --> 01:10:30,240
With that, he was gone.

1179
01:10:30,840 --> 01:10:34,000
Just a faint hint of surgeon onion
stuffing in the air.

1180
01:10:36,300 --> 01:10:37,300
Terry!

1181
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:38,960
Are you all right?

1182
01:10:39,100 --> 01:10:41,420
Gemma, I'm so happy to see you.

1183
01:10:41,880 --> 01:10:45,620
Right, I'm coming down to get you. No,
don't come down here.

1184
01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:50,720
I needed the toilet in the night and I
did it here.

1185
01:10:51,820 --> 01:10:53,040
Why have you got one bare foot?

1186
01:10:55,100 --> 01:10:57,800
It's a direct consequence of what I've
just told you.

1187
01:10:59,220 --> 01:11:01,520
One of my socks is no longer fit for
purpose.

1188
01:11:14,670 --> 01:11:18,390
He was in a giant Christmas stocking
with a massive candy cane stuck in him

1189
01:11:18,390 --> 01:11:19,289
he was looking like this.

1190
01:11:19,290 --> 01:11:21,170
He was a local handyman, Jack.

1191
01:11:21,670 --> 01:11:25,030
He almost died of shame last year, but
now he's dead because of too much candy

1192
01:11:25,030 --> 01:11:26,510
cane and not in a diabetic way.

1193
01:11:27,290 --> 01:11:31,230
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've
only gone and caught the bloody killer.

1194
01:11:33,210 --> 01:11:34,210
What?

1195
01:11:34,870 --> 01:11:35,870
You've caught the killer?

1196
01:11:36,210 --> 01:11:38,290
I know I promised not to, but...

1197
01:11:41,550 --> 01:11:46,270
We're not only part of your community,
we've just saved your community.

1198
01:11:46,570 --> 01:11:48,370
So turkey, now.

1199
01:11:48,790 --> 01:11:52,550
No, you haven't won yet. The competition
isn't finished.

1200
01:11:52,930 --> 01:11:57,130
We had the little hiccup with the
chimney climb, but now we're all safe.

1201
01:11:57,350 --> 01:11:58,610
There's still one event to go.

1202
01:11:59,130 --> 01:12:02,090
Once I find where my bloody husband's
been hiding himself.

1203
01:12:02,490 --> 01:12:03,490
Fine.

1204
01:12:03,670 --> 01:12:05,490
We'll live without your manky turkey.

1205
01:12:06,070 --> 01:12:07,110
We'll go home.

1206
01:12:07,520 --> 01:12:11,780
I'll get the mostly -veg boiling, I'll
pop them in a kebab bowl, in the oven,

1207
01:12:11,960 --> 01:12:13,520
and then we'll open our presents.

1208
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:17,619
You know what?

1209
01:12:17,620 --> 01:12:18,740
You've not won, have you?

1210
01:12:19,360 --> 01:12:23,360
I'm still eking out a little bit of joy
from an otherwise desperately unhappy

1211
01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:24,360
situation.

1212
01:12:25,060 --> 01:12:27,860
Little do you know, that's what I've
done most of my life.

1213
01:12:28,100 --> 01:12:32,040
When we open that champagne this
Christmas, it's going to be one of the

1214
01:12:32,040 --> 01:12:33,160
I'll ever remember.

1215
01:12:33,850 --> 01:12:34,850
Just leave it.

1216
01:12:34,950 --> 01:12:35,949
Let's go.

1217
01:12:35,950 --> 01:12:39,110
While they were dragging you out of that
hole, I broke into a shop and nicked a

1218
01:12:39,110 --> 01:12:42,090
turkey. It's still got bits of glass in
it from where I smashed the window, but

1219
01:12:42,090 --> 01:12:43,190
if we're careful, it'll be fine.

1220
01:12:44,510 --> 01:12:48,450
Monica, I can hug you. Well, if you do,
I'm putting it back. Now hurry up, it's

1221
01:12:48,450 --> 01:12:49,450
dripping on my leg.

1222
01:13:02,640 --> 01:13:03,640
Cheers, Mum.

1223
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:10,240
Merry Christmas to all. What a perfect
day we are about to enjoy.

1224
01:13:10,680 --> 01:13:12,120
No. No?

1225
01:13:12,420 --> 01:13:13,540
I'm sorry, David.

1226
01:13:14,140 --> 01:13:17,960
You're a lovely... Well, more
accurately, very needy man.

1227
01:13:18,680 --> 01:13:20,280
But this is our family Christmas.

1228
01:13:20,680 --> 01:13:22,520
And we want to spend it with just
family.

1229
01:13:22,900 --> 01:13:23,900
Please.

1230
01:13:24,260 --> 01:13:25,320
Oh, I see.

1231
01:13:25,820 --> 01:13:29,300
There I was, thinking that you consider
me as family.

1232
01:13:29,720 --> 01:13:30,860
We don't.

1233
01:13:31,080 --> 01:13:32,080
Jog on.

1234
01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:39,600
Without being that rude, David, and I
mean this in the nicest possible way,

1235
01:13:39,600 --> 01:13:40,600
are the stuff of nightmares.

1236
01:13:41,420 --> 01:13:43,800
I see what you mean.

1237
01:13:45,020 --> 01:13:46,400
Then I shall leave you be.

1238
01:13:46,940 --> 01:13:52,440
Thank you. Although I had wanted to say
that I'm very proud of you, Gemma.

1239
01:13:54,180 --> 01:13:56,260
Catching that killer was nothing short
of genius.

1240
01:13:57,140 --> 01:14:00,260
If I'd had a daughter, I'd want her to
be just like you.

1241
01:14:01,380 --> 01:14:02,380
What? Not me?

1242
01:14:03,549 --> 01:14:09,290
No. But I'll let you enjoy your day. I'm
off to the Santa competition finale.

1243
01:14:09,730 --> 01:14:11,870
I've been helping them set up all
morning.

1244
01:14:12,170 --> 01:14:13,790
Sad, really.

1245
01:14:14,090 --> 01:14:18,770
It's only for those who are left in the
running after this whole mess.

1246
01:14:19,530 --> 01:14:24,010
It's ironic, isn't it? For years I've
been saying it's bloody murder living in

1247
01:14:24,010 --> 01:14:25,010
this village.

1248
01:14:25,310 --> 01:14:27,570
I guess I was telling the truth all
along.

1249
01:14:27,930 --> 01:14:28,930
Oh.

1250
01:14:30,050 --> 01:14:31,050
Oh.

1251
01:14:32,590 --> 01:14:33,590
Shall we do presents?

1252
01:14:33,950 --> 01:14:35,030
After dinner?

1253
01:14:35,870 --> 01:14:37,810
Which is a mere four hours away.

1254
01:14:38,310 --> 01:14:40,850
Four hours? We'll all be bladdered by
then.

1255
01:14:41,090 --> 01:14:42,190
I'm perfectly fine with that.

1256
01:14:42,630 --> 01:14:44,010
No complaints here.

1257
01:14:46,130 --> 01:14:47,870
Why aren't these boiling yet?

1258
01:14:50,870 --> 01:14:52,950
Oh, the bloody cooker's off again.

1259
01:14:53,410 --> 01:14:54,770
Bloody hell, David!

1260
01:14:55,030 --> 01:14:58,950
He's not here, remember? He's gone to
the Santa competition finale.

1261
01:14:59,590 --> 01:15:01,150
Bloody temporarily, he has.

1262
01:15:01,580 --> 01:15:03,400
You'd have come back here and picked him
out of a cooker.

1263
01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:06,280
Well, just don't let him near me, the
creepy little sod that he is.

1264
01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:08,560
I wouldn't mind, but he's got no money.

1265
01:15:08,900 --> 01:15:09,900
Oh, no.

1266
01:15:18,960 --> 01:15:20,380
Where's the bloody finale, then?

1267
01:15:22,040 --> 01:15:23,040
You go that way.

1268
01:15:23,380 --> 01:15:24,900
If you find him, meet me back here.

1269
01:16:07,150 --> 01:16:08,150
You know what?

1270
01:16:08,390 --> 01:16:15,330
After much thought and reflection, I
have decided to resign from the

1271
01:16:15,330 --> 01:16:17,330
Santa Talon. Better be immediately.

1272
01:16:22,770 --> 01:16:24,610
David! David!

1273
01:16:26,330 --> 01:16:29,190
These people just need a little lesson
in manners.

1274
01:16:29,570 --> 01:16:30,568
Oh, my God.

1275
01:16:30,570 --> 01:16:32,290
So they've killed a Santa.

1276
01:16:32,870 --> 01:16:35,510
Just a matter of time, the way they go
on.

1277
01:16:35,760 --> 01:16:37,300
David! This should be fun.

1278
01:16:38,180 --> 01:16:42,220
For years I've been saying it's bloody
murder living in this village.

1279
01:16:43,380 --> 01:16:46,580
Then Duncan put up the fake chimney that
killed Robert.

1280
01:16:46,940 --> 01:16:48,040
That's not me!

1281
01:16:48,840 --> 01:16:50,060
Poor girl.

1282
01:16:51,740 --> 01:16:54,600
All right, I'm trying my best.

1283
01:16:56,300 --> 01:16:58,840
On the bright side, at least you found
Martin.

1284
01:17:15,340 --> 01:17:16,460
I'm glad you came, Terry.

1285
01:17:17,060 --> 01:17:18,060
You're the final one.

1286
01:17:19,140 --> 01:17:20,320
The final Santa.

1287
01:17:21,200 --> 01:17:22,620
Then there's only me left.

1288
01:17:23,500 --> 01:17:25,280
The last Santa standing.

1289
01:17:26,260 --> 01:17:27,260
And I win.

1290
01:17:28,560 --> 01:17:31,100
I wasn't going to bother, but... Coco
went off, yes.

1291
01:17:31,400 --> 01:17:32,600
I had it on a timer.

1292
01:17:32,860 --> 01:17:33,920
Nothing wrong with it, really.

1293
01:17:34,220 --> 01:17:35,500
You don't need to do this.

1294
01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:36,880
Oh, yes, I do.

1295
01:17:37,800 --> 01:17:41,540
For years, I was part of this community.
I put my all into it.

1296
01:17:41,820 --> 01:17:45,300
Joined in with sneering at the
outsiders, spent thousands on making

1297
01:17:45,300 --> 01:17:48,980
garden was up to scratch, and when my
wife was found to be irritating by the

1298
01:17:48,980 --> 01:17:50,320
other residents, what did I do?

1299
01:17:50,760 --> 01:17:51,760
You killed her.

1300
01:17:52,820 --> 01:17:55,160
No, I divorced her. I'm not a lunatic,
Gemma.

1301
01:17:55,380 --> 01:17:56,380
Oh.

1302
01:17:56,900 --> 01:17:57,900
Come.

1303
01:18:01,880 --> 01:18:06,460
All right, I was not a lunatic at that
point. And to be fair, she had become

1304
01:18:06,460 --> 01:18:07,460
dead to us.

1305
01:18:07,740 --> 01:18:08,740
Awful woman.

1306
01:18:08,800 --> 01:18:09,800
And then what happened?

1307
01:18:10,350 --> 01:18:16,030
I win the Santa competition year on
year, spending hours in my costume,

1308
01:18:16,050 --> 01:18:17,690
perfecting my mannerisms.

1309
01:18:18,010 --> 01:18:23,970
And one by one, they all started to hate
me for it. You never gave anyone else a

1310
01:18:23,970 --> 01:18:26,730
chance. I just wanted you all to love
me.

1311
01:18:29,870 --> 01:18:34,710
But you pushed me out, so I knew I'd do
the one thing that would hurt you all.

1312
01:18:35,470 --> 01:18:36,730
Bring in outsiders.

1313
01:18:39,020 --> 01:18:43,600
That's why the house is on Airbnb,
Annette. And when this is done, I'll

1314
01:18:43,600 --> 01:18:45,500
whole village to myself.

1315
01:18:47,060 --> 01:18:50,760
This will be the village where all the
murders happened.

1316
01:18:51,760 --> 01:18:55,000
The house prices will plummet, and I'll
buy the lot.

1317
01:18:55,860 --> 01:18:57,600
Then I can rent them all out.

1318
01:18:57,960 --> 01:19:00,240
And fill this place with all and
hundreds.

1319
01:19:00,480 --> 01:19:04,660
And fill this place with people who
aren't like you, Annette. You harsh,

1320
01:19:04,720 --> 01:19:05,720
sticking shrew!

1321
01:19:05,960 --> 01:19:07,200
How dare you!

1322
01:19:09,140 --> 01:19:12,680
He has got a point for that. In these
situations, it's best to take home

1323
01:19:12,680 --> 01:19:13,680
on the chin, yes?

1324
01:19:18,160 --> 01:19:19,160
Don't, David.

1325
01:19:19,300 --> 01:19:21,220
Join us, Hepple. Help out the big day.

1326
01:19:21,520 --> 01:19:22,520
Oh, no, no.

1327
01:19:23,060 --> 01:19:25,520
You put the brandy on the pudding, don't
you?

1328
01:19:26,860 --> 01:19:28,040
Before you light it.

1329
01:19:39,790 --> 01:19:41,350
I can't think you're going to walk away
from this, David.

1330
01:19:41,790 --> 01:19:43,330
People all know what you've done.

1331
01:19:43,550 --> 01:19:45,430
What Terry's done, Gemma.

1332
01:19:46,050 --> 01:19:48,090
In the ashes, they will find both of
you.

1333
01:19:48,410 --> 01:19:53,570
The frustration of a simple turkey,
which your family will testify to. They

1334
01:19:53,570 --> 01:19:54,570
him mad.

1335
01:19:54,770 --> 01:19:57,650
Your hate for this village is easily
believable, Terry.

1336
01:19:58,730 --> 01:20:02,610
And when Gemma tried to stop you, she
had to die as well.

1337
01:20:03,410 --> 01:20:06,070
Before guilt made you turn the gun on
yourself.

1338
01:20:08,780 --> 01:20:10,820
Or was it Gemma?

1339
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:12,280
Me?

1340
01:20:13,720 --> 01:20:14,720
Why don't you knock him?

1341
01:20:15,820 --> 01:20:18,980
I'm one of the good guys. What girl?
People, people, person.

1342
01:20:19,860 --> 01:20:20,920
I'm a good person.

1343
01:20:21,160 --> 01:20:25,480
This place has already sent you mad,
hasn't it? Nosing around, asking

1344
01:20:25,680 --> 01:20:29,200
getting obsessed with one thing and one
thing only, and we all know what that

1345
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:30,980
is. Where the children are.

1346
01:20:31,280 --> 01:20:32,280
Ah, yes.

1347
01:20:33,070 --> 01:20:37,670
The big secret, where the children are.
Why don't you tell them, Annette? Where

1348
01:20:37,670 --> 01:20:38,910
are all the children?

1349
01:20:39,290 --> 01:20:42,770
No! Oh, I think it's time you told her,
don't you?

1350
01:20:43,330 --> 01:20:47,710
Our children... don't like us.

1351
01:20:50,390 --> 01:20:51,390
It's true.

1352
01:20:55,090 --> 01:20:59,290
Catherine! The reason there's no
children in this village is because we

1353
01:20:59,290 --> 01:21:00,289
like the slot.

1354
01:21:00,290 --> 01:21:05,030
Nobody's children stay here or even come
back for... Christmas because of the

1355
01:21:05,030 --> 01:21:06,030
way these people are.

1356
01:21:07,830 --> 01:21:08,850
I'm Catherine.

1357
01:21:09,230 --> 01:21:10,410
I'm Annette's daughter.

1358
01:21:10,730 --> 01:21:12,150
Or rather, I was.

1359
01:21:12,490 --> 01:21:13,750
You became a vegan.

1360
01:21:14,310 --> 01:21:18,070
I'm a bloody butcher, Catherine. We
don't have vegan children.

1361
01:21:18,530 --> 01:21:22,910
Being a vegan is the only rational
response to the irrational world.

1362
01:21:23,350 --> 01:21:24,850
You see what I'm dealing with?

1363
01:21:25,110 --> 01:21:27,830
I've tried to talk her out of it more
than once.

1364
01:21:28,270 --> 01:21:30,390
Many, many times, actually.

1365
01:21:30,960 --> 01:21:34,160
Oh, but you nagged and nagged and
chipped away until she decided she'd had

1366
01:21:34,160 --> 01:21:36,020
enough and didn't want to bother with
you anymore.

1367
01:21:36,460 --> 01:21:37,460
How did you know?

1368
01:21:37,660 --> 01:21:38,740
I also have a mother.

1369
01:21:39,480 --> 01:21:44,680
Sorry to interrupt. Man with a gun and a
plan here. Could we all focus on the

1370
01:21:44,680 --> 01:21:45,680
matter in hand, please?

1371
01:21:46,020 --> 01:21:48,420
Catherine, you can be another of Gemma's
victims.

1372
01:21:49,020 --> 01:21:52,480
Gemma, if you'd have been as good an
investigator as you claimed, we wouldn't

1373
01:21:52,480 --> 01:21:53,480
in this position.

1374
01:21:53,660 --> 01:21:58,260
All of you know we've found that by
letting the murderer kill repeated

1375
01:21:58,320 --> 01:22:00,420
it's the best way of reducing the
suspects.

1376
01:22:00,760 --> 01:22:05,080
I can't help thinking how ashamed your
mother would be if she could see you

1377
01:22:23,660 --> 01:22:24,660
For me.

1378
01:22:25,720 --> 01:22:30,420
Been an awful good girl, Santa Baby.

1379
01:22:30,860 --> 01:22:34,780
So hurry down the chimney to me. David,
shoot me now, please.

1380
01:22:39,080 --> 01:22:45,820
Santa Baby, a 54 convertible to

1381
01:22:45,820 --> 01:22:47,280
light blue.

1382
01:22:48,960 --> 01:22:51,560
I'll wait up for you, dear.

1383
01:22:52,250 --> 01:22:58,070
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney
tonight. What are you doing, Patricia?

1384
01:22:58,990 --> 01:23:00,670
Isn't that what you wanted?

1385
01:23:01,250 --> 01:23:03,570
A special Christmas present?

1386
01:23:03,990 --> 01:23:08,550
Yes. I mean, absolutely, but as you can
see, I'm a bit busy.

1387
01:23:08,770 --> 01:23:09,770
Oh, no.

1388
01:23:11,150 --> 01:23:16,330
In spite of everything you said, I knew,
I knew there was a spark between us.

1389
01:23:16,570 --> 01:23:17,610
Maybe it's the stress.

1390
01:23:18,570 --> 01:23:20,170
One hundred percent.

1391
01:23:24,910 --> 01:23:27,190
I'm sorry I sniffed your feet while you
slept.

1392
01:23:27,490 --> 01:23:28,490
You did what?

1393
01:23:28,650 --> 01:23:30,610
Oh, I can let that go.

1394
01:23:32,130 --> 01:23:33,850
Can I unwrap my present?

1395
01:23:34,130 --> 01:23:35,650
Can I? Please, no.

1396
01:23:36,290 --> 01:23:38,050
Let me die before saying no.

1397
01:23:38,470 --> 01:23:41,570
You can unwrap all of me.

1398
01:23:43,290 --> 01:23:48,250
I mean, I do have a support girdle.

1399
01:23:48,730 --> 01:23:50,850
You'll have to take your time with that.

1400
01:23:51,190 --> 01:23:52,190
Oh, I will.

1401
01:23:53,040 --> 01:23:54,040
I will.

1402
01:23:55,480 --> 01:24:00,660
If you are going to unwrap me, how can
you do it with your hands full?

1403
01:24:06,320 --> 01:24:07,320
Mum!

1404
01:24:11,880 --> 01:24:15,480
You saved my life.

1405
01:24:15,940 --> 01:24:16,940
I know.

1406
01:24:17,240 --> 01:24:19,040
That's what mothers do, Gemma.

1407
01:24:19,550 --> 01:24:22,170
I'm here to love and protect you and
make you happy.

1408
01:24:22,930 --> 01:24:23,930
See?

1409
01:24:24,850 --> 01:24:26,150
Oh, thanks, Mother.

1410
01:24:27,150 --> 01:24:30,790
Do you know, it's ages since I shot a
man.

1411
01:24:34,250 --> 01:24:35,250
Oh,

1412
01:24:35,770 --> 01:24:38,310
still got it, haven't I?

1413
01:24:40,170 --> 01:24:41,170
Bye.

1414
01:24:45,770 --> 01:24:47,450
I'm looking forward to your visit.

1415
01:24:54,190 --> 01:25:00,690
I could get him out to tell me how to
fix the cooker. Oh, you are... I'm not

1416
01:25:00,690 --> 01:25:06,390
unaware that the appropriate thing to do
is to apologise and thank you both for

1417
01:25:06,390 --> 01:25:07,390
everything you've done here.

1418
01:25:07,850 --> 01:25:10,910
Oh? So are you apologising and thanking
us both?

1419
01:25:11,150 --> 01:25:15,450
No, no, no, no, no. She is stating that
she's aware it's an appropriate thing to

1420
01:25:15,450 --> 01:25:18,130
do. You will get no more than that.

1421
01:25:20,240 --> 01:25:24,260
Life -threatening situations like this
can show you what the important things

1422
01:25:24,260 --> 01:25:28,320
life are. So maybe it's also appropriate
for you to start building bridges.

1423
01:25:28,900 --> 01:25:30,740
You and Catherine could spend Christmas
together.

1424
01:25:31,080 --> 01:25:32,080
Are you kidding?

1425
01:25:32,400 --> 01:25:35,300
Not spending the holidays with this
little hippie witch.

1426
01:25:35,820 --> 01:25:39,160
Well, I'm going back to the worst
weather bird, and the trees didn't judge

1427
01:25:39,160 --> 01:25:40,160
for being a beacon.

1428
01:25:45,800 --> 01:25:46,800
Oh, you two.

1429
01:25:46,860 --> 01:25:48,280
How did you figure it all out?

1430
01:25:48,580 --> 01:25:49,580
Oh, we didn't.

1431
01:25:49,720 --> 01:25:53,620
I was feeling lonely, so I thought I'd
pop over and see if I could seduce

1432
01:25:53,620 --> 01:25:58,080
one last time. Peeped through the
window, saw what was going on, ran back

1433
01:25:58,080 --> 01:25:58,898
tell Mum.

1434
01:25:58,900 --> 01:26:05,600
And I knew that once I'd sprayed him
with my almost liquid sexual allure,

1435
01:26:05,760 --> 01:26:08,120
he'd be put in mounds.

1436
01:26:08,380 --> 01:26:09,940
Someone caught the killer and saved the
day.

1437
01:26:11,560 --> 01:26:14,520
Honestly, Gemma, you really are useless
at this.

1438
01:26:14,880 --> 01:26:18,740
No. No, no, no. We are the ones who...

1439
01:26:23,530 --> 01:26:24,530
Snowflake!

1440
01:26:26,310 --> 01:26:29,650
Let them have this one for once.

1441
01:26:30,590 --> 01:26:32,410
Close our eyes really tightly.

1442
01:26:32,770 --> 01:26:35,830
We can imagine that they actually
deserve it this time.

1443
01:26:39,730 --> 01:26:43,530
This is so lovely, Terry.

1444
01:26:43,930 --> 01:26:44,930
You see?

1445
01:26:45,230 --> 01:26:47,530
You do have a youth after all.

1446
01:26:51,019 --> 01:26:52,019
The turkey?

1447
01:26:54,180 --> 01:26:55,180
Yeah.

1448
01:27:02,460 --> 01:27:03,540
Very moist.

1449
01:27:06,060 --> 01:27:11,260
So, even though we're having it in the
house of a serial killer, there's

1450
01:27:11,260 --> 01:27:13,340
most as bad as you expected it to be.

1451
01:27:13,720 --> 01:27:16,820
When I was in that hall, Gemma, you gave
me a lot of time to think.

1452
01:27:17,760 --> 01:27:18,760
You know what?

1453
01:27:19,370 --> 01:27:23,590
As long as you're with me, Christmas is
every single day of my life.

1454
01:27:24,730 --> 01:27:26,090
You're the best, Harry.

1455
01:27:26,870 --> 01:27:27,648
Isn't he?

1456
01:27:27,650 --> 01:27:31,310
Isn't he the best? Isn't he? Oh, he's a
good lad. Good lad.

1457
01:27:31,750 --> 01:27:32,750
Oh, Jim.

1458
01:27:36,270 --> 01:27:37,490
How can everyone?

1459
01:27:38,170 --> 01:27:39,170
Oh,

1460
01:27:40,790 --> 01:27:42,390
I love Christmas.

1461
01:27:43,910 --> 01:27:45,030
It is it, mate.

1462
01:27:45,690 --> 01:27:46,770
Merry Christmas.